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Some children find some subjects as mathematics and philosophy are too difficult to learn, so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Undeniably, education is an essential thing for everyone. This is the only thing which helps us to survive in a long run of life. However, a number of children say that some subjects like Mathematics and Philosophy are too hard to study, that's why some individuals said that those subjects should not be compulsory for students. I agree to some extent to this statement. The following are the points which will elaborate my viewpoint. To commence with, i believe that all subjects are important for the students because they provide essential knowledge. But some subjects are boring like Philosophy. This subject is helpful for thosr students who want to pursue their future study in that field.
Undeniably
, education is an essential thing for everyone. This is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to survive in a long run of life.
However
, a number of children say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like Mathematics and Philosophy are too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to study, that's why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals said that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should not be compulsory for students. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent to this statement. The following are the points which will elaborate my viewpoint.

To commence with,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they provide essential knowledge.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are boring like Philosophy. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is helpful for
Possible spelling mistake found.
thosr
students who want to pursue their future study in that field.
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IELTS essay Some children find some subjects as mathematics and philosophy are too difficult to learn, so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rather than compulsory.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
116 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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