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Some children can learn efficiently by watching TV. Therefore, they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

it is irrefutable that TV is a very efficient teacher. However, I disagree that children should be motivated to watch TV both at home and at school. I shall put forth my arguments to support my views in the following paragraphs. There is no doubt that TV can be a powerful mean of delivering information and a nice part of learning process Being an audiovisual medium more effective result can be achieved. What is seen is retained longer in the minds of children. There are some things which can be very easily taught by visual illustrations. Even boring subjects like history can be made interesting with the help of TV. However, if TV is to be used as an educational tool then very strict monitoring would be needed as to what children watch on TV. All those talk shows and soap operas we can see every day are a complete waste of time and can even have negative effects by distracting children from their studies. Moreover, the most of so called educational programmes like National Geographic cannot replace books and academic lectures because they tend to entertain people and do not have an aim to give deep and concentrated knowledge. It is highly unlikely that TV channel directors would abandon their profits and change talk shows to lectures and video lessons. Furthermore, if children watch TV in school also then their interaction with the teacher would be limited Teachers teach a lot of things apart from academics. They can come down to the level of the student and can also stimulate children to learn. What is more, children would read less when they learn everything from TV. Reading is an active activity as compared to TV which is a passive activity. So, it would be detrimental to the holistic development of children To conclude, although TV is a very good educational medium, it should be used within limits and whatever children learn from TV should also be carefully monitored by parents and teachers.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is irrefutable that TV is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
.
However
, I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be motivated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV both at home and at school. I shall put forth my arguments to support my views in the following paragraphs.

There is no doubt that TV can be a powerful mean of delivering information and a nice part of learning process Being an audiovisual medium more effective result can
be achieved
. What is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
is retained
longer in the minds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things which can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
taught by visual illustrations. Even boring subjects like history can
be made
interesting with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of TV.

However
, if TV is to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as an educational tool then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strict monitoring would
be needed
as to what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on TV. All those talk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and soap operas we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
every day are a complete waste of time and can even have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects by distracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from their studies.
Moreover
, the most of
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
so called
educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
like National Geographic cannot replace books and academic lectures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they tend to entertain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and do not have an aim to give deep and concentrated knowledge. It is
highly
unlikely that TV channel directors would abandon their profits and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
talk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
to lectures and video lessons.

Furthermore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV in school
also
then their interaction with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
would
be limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things apart from academics. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
down to the level of the student and can
also
stimulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would read less when they learn everything from TV. Reading is an active activity as compared to TV which is a passive activity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it would be detrimental to the holistic development of children

To conclude
, although TV is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
educational medium, it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
within limits and whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn from TV should
also
be
carefully
monitored by parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
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IELTS essay Some children can learn efficiently by watching TV. Therefore, they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and at school.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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