Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Due to many reasons, it is common now some of the metropolises are multinational and multicultural. Governments are taking numerous efforts and introduce programs to keep them together peacefully. In this essay, I am going to express my view some of the measured taken by the authorities. Nowadays due to economic or any other reason people like to move and live in different countries. Accordingly, it is clearly visible that some of the major cities are full of different social groups. Every social group carries their own identity and would like to maintain it. In some instance, this can lead to conflicts among the social groups. Authorities are maintaining some educational program not only in schools but also within the community’s importance to respect everyone in the society. Specially the authorities who are responsible to maintain law and order regularly monitor and advices to teenagers how to live with the neighbors in harmony. Major cities are conducts regular events of various cultures. One of the famous events is annual Noting Hill Carnival in London which is led by Caribbean community. There are other similar events and in the city which everyone attends those to enjoy and share their happiness with others without considering any differences. Moreover, there are many religious centers in most of metropolises. This will provide the opportunity to perform their own religious activities as well as everyone to tolerate each other practices. To provide the opportunities to mix every communities together and understand each other is avoid unnecessary tensions among the people. Immigration due to the various reasons, most of the major cities are very diverse. The governments of those cities are working tireless in different ways as explain above to keep them together which is benefits to every community and county as a whole.
Due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons, it is common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
metropolises are multinational and multicultural.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
are taking numerous efforts and introduce programs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them together
peacefully
. In this essay, I am going to express my view
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
measured taken by the authorities.

Nowadays due to economic or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.
Accordingly
, it is
clearly
visible that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are full of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
social groups. Every social group carries their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
identity and would like to maintain it. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
instance, this can lead to conflicts among the social groups. Authorities are maintaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educational program not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community’s
importance to respect everyone in the society.
Specially
the authorities who are responsible to maintain law and order
regularly
monitor and advices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with the neighbors in harmony.

Major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are conducts regular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of various cultures. One of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
is annual Noting Hill Carnival in London which
is led
by Caribbean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
similar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and in the city which everyone attends those to enjoy and share their happiness with others without considering any differences.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
religious centers in
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the metropolises") or simply say "most metropolises".
most of metropolises
. This will provide the opportunity to perform their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
religious activities
as well
as everyone to tolerate each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
practices. To provide the opportunities to mix every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "community"?
communities
together and understand each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
is
Consider using a past participle here: "avoided".
avoid
unnecessary tensions among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Immigration due to the various reasons, most of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
diverse. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are working tireless in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
above to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them together which is benefits to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and county as a whole.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts