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some cause lead to the extinction of animal speices and solution to preserve these species

some cause lead to the extinction of animal speices and solution to preserve these species WnBla
More and more animal species are on the verge of extinction and a numerous species disappearing every year. This essay will explore the main reasons for species loss and mention some solution to preserve these species. Species loss is attributed to various factors. One main cause of this issue is over-hunting. Rare species are at risk of hunting for trading. Valuable parts of their body, such as rhino horn, fleece, crocodile skin, . . are sold with high prices or used for commercial purposes. Furthermore, growth of human population is also a reason. People have a tendency to broaden their land space by taking the natural habitat of species and this result in disappearing of many species. Beyond that, climate changes are also the main reason of some animal extinction, several species living in sea ice habitat can die due to the melting of ice. Moreover, deforestation not only changes earth’s climate but also destroys the natural habitat of species. That can affect to the amount of species in nature at present. Fixing this problem is difficult, whilst various solutions should be made to minimize the issue. Education about the importance of species should be improved and the government should impose some restrictions and heavy fine for illegal exploitation. The best solution is termination of deforestation, one of the main causes leading to species loss. In addition, people should be aware of the importance of pieces in our life, and concern more about the animal species as well as take prompt action. Several natural species, playing an integral role in human’s life tend to be vanished. Hence, solutions must be done immediately to save natural species as well as planet.
More and more animal species are on the verge of extinction and a numerous species disappearing every year. This essay will explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
reasons for species loss and mention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to preserve these species.

Species loss
is attributed
to various factors. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
cause of this issue is over-hunting. Rare species are at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of hunting for trading. Valuable parts of their body, such as rhino horn, fleece, crocodile skin
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, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
are
sold with high prices or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for commercial purposes.
Furthermore
, growth of human population is
also
a reason.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have a tendency to broaden their land space by taking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
habitat of species and this result in disappearing of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species. Beyond that, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
reason of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
animal extinction, several species living in sea ice habitat can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
due to the melting of ice.
Moreover
, deforestation not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
earth’s climate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
habitat of species. That can affect to the amount of species in nature at present.

Fixing this problem is difficult, whilst various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
should
be made
to minimize the issue. Education about the importance of species should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions and heavy fine for illegal exploitation. The best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is termination of deforestation, one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
causes leading to species loss.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should be aware of the importance of pieces in our life, and concern more about the animal species
as well
as take prompt action.

Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
species, playing an integral role in human’s life tend to
be vanished
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
immediately to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
species
as well
as planet.
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IELTS essay some cause lead to the extinction of animal speices and solution to preserve these species

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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