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some British families not to buy television because they influence the development of the creativity of children. What do you think ?

some British families not to buy television because they influence the development of the creativity of children. What do you think? 7rlq2
The majority of families in Britain argue that purchasing televisions effects child creativity. I personally agree with this statement to some extent, and I will explain the reason in this essay. It is true that televisions have an ability to develop child idea to be more creative, thus, some specific channels provide educational program such as interactive quiz about lesson, and educative cartoon. However, I believe that this is potentially unwise viewpoint considering the drawbacks that it may contain. Taking into more consideration, we should also highlight the origin of negativity such as product advertisement. For instance, British children suffered obesity in 20th century with a detail that approximately 53% of boys tended to risk to be obese in comparison with girls accounted at 47%, due to the food and beverage commercial. It might be said that health problems on child were indirectly influenced by televisions, the diet would consider to be uncontrolled without any parents’ attention. In addition, it seems that some entertainments offer sensual and harm action. Such movies demonstrate a scene rated for above 17 years old. It is logic to conclude that watching televisions get destructing children’s mental health. On the other hand, action movies consider to spark children acting like the actor which the action may be harm for themselves and others. To remedy the root of incapability, it appears that parents should monitor the television usage. Parents probably have to be already at the time if children desire to access their favorite channels. As the result, both father and mother realize what their children watch on television. In summary, it appears to me that televisions disadvantages outweigh the benefit. Parents should require preventive solutions to avoid the notorious impact of television for their children.
The majority of families in Britain argue that purchasing
televisions
effects child creativity. I
personally
agree
with this statement to
some
extent, and I will
explain
the reason in this essay.

It is true that
televisions
have an ability to develop child
idea
to be more creative,
thus
,
some
specific channels provide educational program such as interactive quiz about lesson, and educative cartoon.
However
, I believe that this is
potentially
unwise viewpoint considering the drawbacks that it may contain.

Taking into more consideration, we should
also
highlight the origin of negativity such as product advertisement.
For instance
, British
children
suffered obesity in 20th century with a detail that approximately 53% of boys tended to
risk to be
obese
in comparison
with girls accounted at 47%, due to the food and beverage commercial. It might
be said
that health problems on child were
indirectly
influenced by
televisions
, the diet would consider to
be uncontrolled
without any
parents’
attention.
In addition
, it seems that
some
entertainments offer sensual and harm action. Such movies demonstrate a scene rated for above 17 years
old
. It is logic
to conclude
that watching
televisions
get
destructing
children’s
mental health.
On the other hand
, action movies
consider to spark
children
acting like the actor which the action may be harm for themselves
and others
.

To remedy the root of incapability, it appears that
parents
should monitor the
television
usage.
Parents
probably
have to
be already at the time if
children
desire to access their favorite channels. As the result, both father and mother realize what their
children
watch
on television.

In summary, it appears to me that
televisions
disadvantages outweigh the benefit.
Parents
should require preventive solutions to avoid the notorious impact of
television
for their
children
.
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IELTS essay some British families not to buy television because they influence the development of the creativity of children. What do you think?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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