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some believed home-teaching is better but on the contrary, schooling is thought to be better by some people

some believed home-teaching is better but on the contrary, schooling is thought to be better by some people VyjR3
Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give yout own opinion: Nowadays, schooling plays the enormous role of educating and orientating the young generation. However, there are still many discussions and opinions which compare pros and cons of home-teaching and schooling during many decades. Firstly, according to the newest statistics, majority of ideas state that schooling is the most efficient way of educating young children. Many parent' conveys illustrate that schooling gives children the environment of communications and growing their potentials. Secondly, school is the small version of the real community so that kids can learn how to behave in difficult situations and sharpen their soft skills. Last but not least, schooling also increases changes for kid to have many friends in order to learn how to work as a team. For example, according to the centers for disease control and prevention CDC) shows that 3, 2% of children in US have diagnosed depression by locking them in their own room and do not communicate with friend. On the other hand, in many countries, home-teaching is also believed as a good method to teach children. Firstly, parents can easily understand their children and give them the best educations. Moreover, with home-teaching, children are believed to be able to avoid the negative aspects of schooling such as bullying, . . . . . and schooling is also thought to prevent student from their creativities. For example, Thomas Edison is still now worldwide genius inventor whom was taught at home. However, schooling which is the basic thing that the new generations should have is dramatically important. In conclusion, both methods all have advantages and disadvantages. There is clearly a trend of home-teaching over the world but schooling is still more popular and its functions can not be denied.
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Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at home is best for a child's development while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give yout
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion:

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
plays the enormous role of educating and orientating the young generation.
However
, there

are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
discussions and opinions which compare pros and cons of home-teaching and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
during
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many


decades.

Firstly
, according to the newest statistics,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
is the most efficient way of

educating young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parent' conveys illustrate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the environment of

communications and growing their potentials.
Secondly
, school is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
version of the real community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that

kids can learn how to behave in difficult situations and sharpen their soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
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schooling
also


increases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
for kid to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
friends in order to learn how to work as a team.
For example
, according to

the centers for disease control and prevention CDC
Unpaired symbol: '(' seems to be missing
)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 3, 2% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in US have diagnosed depression

by locking them in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
room and do not communicate with friend.

On the other hand
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, home-teaching is
also
believed as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
method to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
,

parents can
easily
understand their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and give them the best educations.
Moreover
, with home-teaching,

children
are believed
to be able to avoid the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
such as bullying
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
is
also


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
student from their
Possible spelling mistake found.
creativities
.
For example
, Thomas Edison is
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
worldwide genius

inventor whom
was taught
at home.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
which is the basic thing that the new generations should

have is
dramatically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

In conclusion
, both methods all have advantages and disadvantages. There is
clearly
a trend of home-teaching over

the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
is
still
more popular and its functions can not
be denied
.
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IELTS essay some believed home-teaching is better but on the contrary, schooling is thought to be better by some people

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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