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Many believe that the introduction of technology has bought misery in the life of the working class. However, others believe that it has in fact helps the same class. Discuss both views, give your opinion.

Many believe that the introduction of technology has bought misery in the life of the working class. However, others believe that it has in fact helps the same class. DYdEp
In this contemporary era, everything has two sides likewise, the advancement of technology has been proven boon to some people and also curse to some people. There are many points to be discussed before reaching to a concrete decision. The following paragraphs will share some ideas and facts. Based on my knowledge, there are a plethora of reasons to support the statement that technology has ruined many people’s life. One of the main reasons is that due to the technological development and introduction of machinery in industries, the need of man-power has reduced and so lot of workers were kicked out and therefore they ended up being unemployed. The work which needed 100 men can now be accomplished with only one man operating the machine in a perfect manner. On the other hand, however, many people believe that the introduction of artificial power has helped a lot of worker where in the work field, health risks were involved. For example, making of glass, molding and recycling companies released many harmful gases which affect a person’s health and the excess heat and light from the furnaces can lead to blindness and various kinds of skin diseases. Many working fields include loading and offloading of heavy goods which can cause muscle strains and back problems in long run. In conclusion, by looking at the pros and cons of the advanced technology in industrial sector it is a bit difficult to say that it has helped a lot of people but also has snatched jobs from a large group of people. But, in my opinion, I would like to say that it has been a boon to many, as health is much more important than wealth.
In this contemporary era, everything has two sides
likewise
, the advancement of technology has
been proven
boon to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
also
curse to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
points to
be discussed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching to a concrete decision. The following paragraphs will share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and facts.

Based on my knowledge, there are a plethora of reasons to support the statement that technology has ruined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life. One of the main reasons is that due to the technological development and introduction of machinery in industries, the need of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-power has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and
It seems that an article is missing.
so lot of
workers
were kicked
out and
therefore
they ended up
being unemployed
. The work which needed 100
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be accomplished
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
operating the machine
Consider replacing "in a perfect manner" with the adverb for "perfect"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a perfect manner
.

On the other hand
,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the introduction of artificial power has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
worker where in the work field, health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
were involved
.
For example
, making of glass, molding and recycling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
released
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
harmful gases which affect a person’s health and the excess heat and light from the furnaces can lead to blindness and various kinds of skin diseases.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
working fields include loading and offloading of heavy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
which can cause muscle strains and back problems in long run.

In conclusion
, by looking at the pros and cons of the advanced technology in industrial sector it is a bit difficult to say that it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
has snatched jobs from a large group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in my opinion, I would like to say that it has been a boon to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, as health is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than wealth.
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IELTS essay Many believe that the introduction of technology has bought misery in the life of the working class. However, others believe that it has in fact helps the same class.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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