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Some believe that wealthy countries should provide assistance to poorer countries when they suffer a natural disaster. Do you agree?

Some believe that wealthy countries should provide assistance to poorer countries when they suffer a natural disaster. Do you agree? JOQ5
Consequences of natural disaster are dreadful and developing countries suffers the most. Some people believe that proper required help must be provided by developed countries to combat the situation. I strongly agree that proper measures should be taken by first world countries to tackle the situation of less wealthy nations suffering from such uncertain circumstances and this essay will explain why. National disasters are unpredictable, and they cause heavy destructions to mankind. People living in less wealthy countries suffer more in those situations because they don’t get proper help from the government therefore, it must be the responsibility of the developed countries or the countries that can provide required help to step forward and help the needy countries during these situations to maintain their international relations as well. Like for example, Kedarnath is a town in Indian state of Uttarakhand. It is a religious place in Hindu methodology and every year around millions of Hindus visit the place to pay tribute in holy house of worship. In 2014 a landslide occurred in that area and around thousands of people died due to lack of food supplies, lack of medical aid, those people who got stuck at some place died because of less availability of rescue team. Overall, I would say the rich countries can’t ignore the poor countries in such situation when it is the matter of lives of mankind. Natural disasters such as volcanoes, earthquakes, forest fires, landslides tsunami etc. can occur anytime anyplace without any notice. Richer countries by providing helping hands not only get recognition all over the world but also I think this is the best way to maintain the international affairs with other countries. Moreover, it is also the matter of pride and reputation globally. for example, if a country provides suitable amount of donations to the needy country when in need their name will be famous all over globally like during the pandemic situation of covid19 the prime minister of India Narender Modi provided vaccines to New Zealand and the prime minister of New Zealand thanked him for giving such great help and he received appreciation from all over the world. All in all, I would say proper assistance must be provided by richer countries both financially as well as emotionally to portray their good image all over the world.
Consequences of natural disaster are dreadful and developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
suffers the most.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
by developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to combat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
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proper
measures should
be taken
by
first
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world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
of less wealthy nations suffering from such uncertain circumstances and this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why.

National disasters are unpredictable, and they cause heavy
Possible spelling mistake found.
destructions
to mankind.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
living in less wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
suffer more in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
therefore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be the responsibility of the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that can provide required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to step forward and
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help
the needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
during these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
to maintain their international relations
as well
. Like
for example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kedarnath
is a town in Indian state of Uttarakhand. It is a religious place in Hindu methodology and every year around millions of Hindus visit the place to pay tribute in holy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
of worship. In 2014 a landslide occurred in that area and around thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
due to lack of food supplies, lack of medical aid, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
stuck at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of less availability of rescue team.
Overall
, I would say the rich
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countries
can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
when it is the matter of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of mankind.

Natural disasters such as volcanoes, earthquakes, forest fires, landslides tsunami etc. can occur anytime anyplace without any notice. Richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
by providing helping hands not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
recognition all
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over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is the best way to maintain the international affairs with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Moreover
, it is
also
the matter of pride and reputation globally.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
provides suitable amount of donations to the needy
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country
when in need their name will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
all
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over
globally like during the pandemic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
of
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid19
the prime minister of India
Possible spelling mistake found.
Narender
Possible spelling mistake found.
Modi
provided vaccines to New Zealand and the prime minister of New Zealand thanked him for giving such great
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
help and
he received appreciation from all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. All in all, I would say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
assistance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
by richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
both
financially
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
emotionally
to portray their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
image all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
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IELTS essay Some believe that wealthy countries should provide assistance to poorer countries when they suffer a natural disaster. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
386 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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