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Some believe that the government should prevent crime, while others believe that everyone should have a responsibility to protect themselves from wrongdoing. There are rational arguments on both sides of this topic, which we will discuss in detail, and then my opinion on this matter.

Some believe that the government should prevent crime, while others believe that everyone should have a responsibility to protect themselves from wrongdoing. There are rational arguments on both sides of this topic, which we will discuss in detail, and then my opinion on this matter. GLEEQ
Some believe that the government should prevent crime, while others believe that everyone should have a responsibility to protect themselves from wrongdoing. There are rational arguments on both sides of this topic, which we will discuss in detail, and then my opinion on this matter. On the one hand, some people believe that each of us should be concerned about our own safety, since government securities organizations cannot be present in all hotbeds of crime. For example, the police cannot prevent every incident, such as shoplifting, which can happen everywhere and all the time. Consequently, store owners are responsible for taking preventive measures such as installing alarms or cameras in their store. Plus, if customers take care of their belongings, there will be no theft while shopping. Thus, it is clear that everyone is responsible for their own safety. On the other hand, there is a limit to what a person can do on their own. In this respect, only governments can enforce strict laws to control crime rates. Strict laws will become a hindrance and will greatly reduce the crime rate. For example, Arab countries have harsh penalties such as lengthy imprisonment or even the death penalty for every offense. As a result, people are hesitant to break laws, and the crime rate is much lower than in other areas. Consequently, the state must accept responsibility and enforce strict rules that will deter people from committing crimes. In conclusion, there are strong arguments on both sides of the controversy; however, I firmly believe that the responsibility to curb criminal activity lies with the government through the enactment of strict laws.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that everyone should have a responsibility to protect themselves from wrongdoing. There are rational arguments on both sides of this topic, which we will discuss in detail, and then my opinion on this matter.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that each of us should
be concerned
about our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
safety, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
securities organizations cannot be present in all hotbeds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
For example
, the police cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
every incident, such as shoplifting, which can happen everywhere and all the time.
Consequently
, store owners are responsible for taking preventive measures such as installing alarms or cameras in their store. Plus, if customers take care of their belongings, there will be no theft while shopping.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that everyone is responsible for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
safety.
On the other hand
, there is a limit to what a person can do on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. In this respect,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can enforce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
will become a hindrance and will
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.
For example
, Arab countries have harsh penalties such as lengthy imprisonment or even the death penalty for every offense.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are hesitant to break
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate is much lower than in other areas.
Consequently
, the state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
accept responsibility and enforce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
that will deter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from committing crimes.

In conclusion
, there are strong arguments on both sides of the controversy;
however
, I
firmly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the responsibility to curb criminal activity lies with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
through the enactment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
.
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IELTS essay Some believe that the government should prevent crime, while others believe that everyone should have a responsibility to protect themselves from wrongdoing. There are rational arguments on both sides of this topic, which we will discuss in detail, and then my opinion on this matter.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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