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Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now. klQ8
Some people feel that more action is required to prevent crime whereas few others feel its already well managed. One may be efficient but there is always a scope for improvement, so we are going to discuss my opinion regarding effective management of crime. The only way to eradicate crime is by imposing strict rules. Nowadays justice is taking time, I agree that judgement can’t be always immediate because it involves lot of process, but some issues need immediate judgment so that other criminals who has intention to do crime should get frightened. For instance, a person who was involved in murder case should be punished as per law right after he had proven guilty, therefore other criminals who has intention will change his mind. Compared to past crime is currently well managed, we are catching criminals a way before the crime took place and saving many lives, this is very important because if we catch criminals after the crime no doubt, we can punish them but catching them before crime will save lot of damages which sometimes may be the precious lives. To be particular with the help of bomb detection censors police department can catch terrorists who are planning a blast which in turn helped in saving many innocent people lives. To conclude, my view is that we must impose more actions like using technology to stop crimes and catch criminals. It is also suggested to alter legal rules which were framed long back in accordance with current day crime motive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that more action
is required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
whereas few others feel its already well managed. One may be efficient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is always a scope for improvement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we are going to discuss my opinion regarding effective management of crime.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to eradicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is by imposing strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. Nowadays justice is taking time, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that judgement can’t be always immediate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it involves
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
process,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues need immediate
Do not mix variants of the same word ('judgment' and 'judgement') within a single text.
judgment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'criminals' should be used.
has
intention to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
frightened.
For instance
, a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was involved
in murder case should
be punished
as per law right after he had proven guilty,
therefore
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'criminals' should be used.
has
intention will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
his mind.

Compared to past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is
currently
well managed, we are catching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
a way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
took place and saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if we catch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
no doubt, we can punish them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
catching them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
will save
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
damages which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
may be the precious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To be particular with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of bomb detection censors police department can catch terrorists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are planning a blast which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
.

To conclude
, my view is that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
impose more actions like using technology to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and catch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. It is
also
The verb 'suggested' is used with the gerund form: "suggested altering".
suggested to alter
legal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
which
were framed
long back in accordance with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
motive.

IELTS essay Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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