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Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now. KjN6
Many people say that we have to take more steps to stop crime and other claims that crime is resolved completely by government program and policy. In my opinion both the steps are important to put a stop or to decrease the crime rate. Firstly, Crime rates in all country is rapidly increasing. So we have to take more steps to stop them. People have to be more careful and safe from any crime while these days people are more active on the Internet which leads to hackers to have their personal information. So we have to open only secure and safe website. For instance, Now a days hacker and frauds sends you message like you win a jackpot or prize money through this they told you to debit money into their account. However, Government also have to take steps to prevent crime by launching new policies and programmes. By increasing traffic road fine people become more careful recording rules and regulation. for example, After inserting speed cameras people drives vehicle under speed limit which helps to reduce road accidents. In my opinion government should make more efforts to stop crime. Government have to be make new laws and give strict punishment to the criminals. As it is important to have fear in their mind before they think to do any crime. To conclude, As we know prevention is always better than cure. So we should always prevent ourselves from crime but the government should be more active to fade away crime from the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and other claims that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is resolved
completely by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
program and policy. In my opinion both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to put a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stop
or to decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
rates in all country is
rapidly
increasing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stop
them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be more careful and safe from any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
while these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more active on the Internet which leads to hackers to have their personal information.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
open
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
secure and safe website.
For instance
,
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
hacker and frauds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sends
you message like you win a jackpot or prize money through this they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
you to debit money into their account.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
by launching new policies and
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
. By increasing traffic road fine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more careful recording
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, After inserting speed cameras
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
drives
vehicle under speed limit which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
road accidents.

In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more efforts to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
The singular proper name 'Government' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new laws and give strict punishment to the criminals. As it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have fear in their mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to do any crime.

To conclude
, As we know prevention is always better than cure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we should always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
ourselves from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be more active to fade away
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
from the society.

IELTS essay Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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