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Some believe that living in an apartment are advantageous, but other argue it in contrast. Discuss both views.

Some believe that living in an apartment are advantageous, but other argue it in contrast. QKr2b
These days, some people assume that living in an apartment has positive points. However, Other believe that if people spend their life time in apartment which can have many drawbacks. In my view, living in apartment depends on each people personality because each person have comfortable where like it. On the one hand, some people argue that living in apartment has many downsides. To illustrate it more, a large number of people do not have ability to live in small and short places due to the fact that a majority of apartments are smalls and have fewer spaces due to this some people get annoyed and they will become depress. In addition, living in apartments have other negative points such as who are live in that buildings they ought to tolerate different behaviors which related to other neighbours. On the other hand, some people believe that it can be nice to live in apartment because it has beneficial points. To clarify it more, those who got depression and nervoused can move to apartments in order to spend their time with neighbours and have association with them. Plus, they will find this opportunity to familiar with other people and different mindset which they can find new friends or someone who can talk to them when they will be alone. In my opinion, it is very great if we be able to live in apartments which have a remarkable number people who lived in there. To illustrate it more, we can move to apartment in order to be more socialize with other people and find a friends in order to spend our time with them and setup an entertaining plan. In conclusion, we had two sides which said it is not good for people to live in apartments have negative points and other side believe that living in apartment have more advantages which we compared these two sides and mentioned our opinion.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
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points
.
However
,
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Other
The singular proper name 'Other' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "believes", "believed".
believe
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend their
Did you mean "lifetime"?
life time
in
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apartment
which can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
depends on each
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people
personality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each person have comfortable where like it.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
downsides. To illustrate it more,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and short places due to the fact that a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
are smalls and have fewer spaces due to this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
annoyed and
they will become depress.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
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live
in that buildings they ought to tolerate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
behaviors which related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it can be nice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
. To clarify it more, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
depression and
Possible spelling mistake found.
nervoused
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
in order to spend their time with
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
and have association with them. Plus, they will find this opportunity to familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mindset which they can find new friends or someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can talk to them when they will be alone.

In my opinion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
great if we be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
which have a remarkable number
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in there. To illustrate it more, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
in order to be more socialize with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and find
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a friend" or simply "friends"?
a friends
in order to spend our time with them and
The verb 'set up' is spelled as two words. The noun 'setup' is spelled as one.
setup
an entertaining plan.

In conclusion
, we had two sides which said it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
have more advantages which we compared these two sides and mentioned our opinion.
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IELTS essay Some believe that living in an apartment are advantageous, but other argue it in contrast.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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