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Many people claim that governments should only concentrate on their own citizens instead of helping residents from other countries. While it is true that the authorities should spend national coffer supporting people in their own countries, I believe that it is also necessary to provide assistance to others around the world.

Many people claim that governments should only concentrate on their own citizens instead of helping residents from other countries. While it is true that the authorities should spend national coffer supporting people in their own countries, I believe that it is also necessary to provide assistance to others around the world. b3jQq
Many people claim that governments should only concentrate on their own citizens instead of helping residents from other countries. While it is true that the authorities should spend national coffer supporting people in their own countries, I believe that it is also necessary to provide assistance to others around the world. To begin with, there are several reasons why governments should prioritize the locals' needs. Firstly, because all locals have to directly pay taxes for their governments, one of the most important responsibilities that governments must complete is support and take care their own residents. By contrast, using this money to aid foreigners might lead to serious societal conflicts. Secondly, if governments spend a huge amounts of nation coffer helping foreign people, there would be a lack of money poured into other important sectors such as healthy service and transport. As a result, these sectors can be held back from development, which prevents citizens from reaching higher living standard. For example, if healthcare receives poor investment, there would be fewer hospital built or new drugs and treatment methods researched. This could lead to a high risk of disease outbreaks spreading in communities. However, I would argue that governments should also help people living in other parts of the world. Primarily, since there is a wide range of serious issues that only a single nation could not tackle, the provision of assistance between other nations is necessary. For example, in the case of Covid-19, many countries with ability to mak the vaccine such as the USA, China and the UK, distribute their vaccine to many underdeveloped countries in order to protect more people around in the world. If they did not supply their vaccine to these nations, disease outbreaks would spread quickly and widely. In addition, cooperating with others also built concrete and close relationships between nations all over the world. This minimizes chances of conflicts and even potential wars in the future. In conclusion, while concerning about locals is one of each nation's top priorities, I agree with the idea that governments should also assist citizens in other parts of the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
concentrate on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
citizens
instead
of helping residents from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. While it is true that the authorities should spend national coffer supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, I believe that it is
also
necessary to provide assistance to others around the world.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should prioritize the locals' needs.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all locals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
directly
pay taxes for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
responsibilities that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
complete is support and take care their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
residents. By contrast, using this money to aid foreigners might lead to serious societal conflicts.
Secondly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
spend a huge
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "amount"?
amounts
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
coffer helping foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, there would be a lack of money poured into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
sectors such as healthy service and transport.
As a result
, these sectors can
be held
back from development, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
citizens from reaching higher living standard.
For example
, if healthcare receives poor investment, there would be fewer hospital built or new drugs and treatment methods researched. This could lead to a high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of disease outbreaks spreading in communities.

However
, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Primarily
, since there is a wide range of serious issues that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
could not tackle, the provision of assistance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
is necessary.
For example
, in the case of Covid-19,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with ability to
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mak
the vaccine such as the USA, China and the UK, distribute their vaccine to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in order to protect more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. If they did not supply their vaccine to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, disease outbreaks would spread
quickly
and
widely
.
In addition
, cooperating with others
also
built concrete and close relationships between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. This minimizes chances of conflicts and even potential wars in the future.

In conclusion
, while concerning about locals is one of each nation's top priorities, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
also
assist citizens in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
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IELTS essay Many people claim that governments should only concentrate on their own citizens instead of helping residents from other countries. While it is true that the authorities should spend national coffer supporting people in their own countries, I believe that it is also necessary to provide assistance to others around the world.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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