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Some believe that going to college is the best way to a successful career, whileothers believe that it is better to start working after graduating from highschool. Discuss these two views and give your opinion v.1

Some believe that going to college is the best way to a successful career, whileothers believe that it is better to start working after graduating from highschool. Discuss these two views and give your opinion v. 1
Science plays an important role in the growth and progress of a nation. However, other subjects are also important for the economic development of a country. Therefore, I believe that the government should allot equal funds for the teaching of all subjects. Science subjects are definitely helpful. They help to solve many problems affecting us and our environment. Government funding will lead to improvement in medical research and the invention of many cures. Health, after all, is wealth. In order for a nation to progress, its people have to be healthy. Research in medical science facilitates this. In addition, scientific research in agriculture can increase the fertility of the land and result in economic growth. Science subjects like technology and engineering also play a crucial role in making our lives happy and comfortable. Obviously, the government funding of science subjects helps the country to develop and progress. However, this does not mean that only science subjects are important. Other subjects like arts, crafts, literature and humanities also play an important role in the overall progress of a nation. These subjects make people aware of their history and culture. They improve our aesthetic skills and enhance the overall quality of our life. Art subjects provide plenty of job opportunities too. After all, no nation can progress only on the wings of science. To conclude, government funding should not be limited to science subjects. For the overall development of the country, the government should support the teaching of other subjects as well.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
plays an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role in the growth and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
However
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for the economic development of a country.
Therefore
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should allot equal funds for the teaching of all subjects.

Science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are definitely helpful. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems affecting us and our environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
funding will lead to improvement in medical research and the invention of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cures. Health,
after all
, is wealth. In order for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
, its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be healthy. Research in medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
facilitates this.
In addition
, scientific research in agriculture can increase the fertility of the land and result in economic growth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like technology and engineering
also
play a crucial role in making our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
happy and comfortable.
Obviously
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the country to develop and progress.

However
, this does not mean that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like arts, crafts, literature and humanities
also
play an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role in the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aware of their history and culture. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our aesthetic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and enhance the
overall
quality of our life. Art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of job opportunities too.
After all
, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the wings of science.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funding should not
be limited
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. For the
overall
development of the country, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should support the teaching of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as well
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some believe that going to college is the best way to a successful career, whileothers believe that it is better to start working after graduating from highschool. Discuss these two views and give your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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