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Solving environmental pollution both on a domestic and international level

Solving environmental pollution both on a domestic and international level 0BVO1
In this essay, let us find out a solution on solving environmental pollution on a domestic and international level. First of all, pollution is one of the ongoing concerns in most of the countries due to the increased population. Out of all the 3 pollutions, water and air are being polluted majorly by the fellow human beings and these can be evaded or at least reduced considerably with few self measures. One of the primary reason for the air pollution is the number of vehicles in the country. Now a days every family has more than one car. Even worse where few houses have a car for every family member. This emits a lot of carbon outside and creates air pollution. Secondly, the trees are de-forested where the capacity of these carbons being observed has become less.
In this essay,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us find out a solution on solving environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
on a domestic and international level.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is one of the ongoing concerns in most of the countries due to the increased population. Out of all the 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollutions
, water and air are
being polluted
majorly
by the fellow human beings and these can
be evaded
or at least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
considerably
with few self measures. One of the primary reason for the air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is the number of vehicles in the country.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
every family has more than one car. Even worse where few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
have a car for every family member. This emits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
carbon outside and creates air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
Secondly
, the trees are
Possible spelling mistake found.
de-forested
where the capacity of these carbons
being observed
has become less.

IELTS essay Solving environmental pollution both on a domestic and international level

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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