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Societies with younger people

Societies with younger people mbVXq
Reportedly in some countries, a considerable percentage of the population in their youth. Is it beneficial to society to consist of mostly young people, or it works against its prosperity and growth? The probable answers to this question will be examined in this essay. Firstly, consider a society that includes mostly young adult individuals as the majority of its population. Based on the characteristics that apply to the youngsters, a broader segment of society will be eligible to join the workforce. Since younger people are usually more interested in learning and participating in new activities, there is a higher potential to increase the general educational level of society. Furthermore, since the nation is facing a negligible number of senior citizens, fewer resources and government funds could be appropriated to the public health sector or retirement funds. With deeper scrutiny, it can be seen that certain societal phenomena are more prevalent in particular demographics; For instance, the major percentage of people committing a crime are mostly young. Besides this negative aspect, there are other drawbacks to a younger society, namely lack of experience, which might lead the society into an undesirable situation due to poor decision-making. Considering a sociopolitical perspective, one might argue that even though younger people respond to change in a much more flexible and welcoming manner compared to older ones, but it still can be a struggle to govern a younger group of people and to reach a consensus among them, in terms of policy-making. In conclusion, all societies are facing general issues that are somewhat similar, but a variation in the demographic structure would change the frequency or severity of these obstacles. Considering the aforementioned arguments, a younger society may have a better potential for economic improvements and some social improvements, as long as it does not neglect its senior citizens and their experience.
Reportedly in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, a considerable percentage of the population in their youth. Is it beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to consist of
mostly
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, or it works against its prosperity and growth? The probable answers to this question will
be examined
in this essay.

Firstly
, consider a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
that includes
mostly
young adult individuals as the majority of its population. Based on the characteristics that apply to the youngsters, a broader segment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
will be eligible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the workforce. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
usually
more interested in learning and participating in new activities, there is a higher potential to increase the general educational level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Furthermore
, since the nation is facing a negligible number of senior citizens, fewer resources and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
funds could
be appropriated
to the public health sector or retirement funds.

With deeper scrutiny, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that certain societal phenomena are more prevalent
in particular
demographics;
For instance
, the major percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
committing a crime are
mostly
young.
Besides
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect, there are other drawbacks to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
namely
lack of experience, which might lead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
into an undesirable situation due to poor decision-making. Considering a sociopolitical perspective, one might argue that
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
respond to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in a much more flexible and welcoming manner compared to older ones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
still
can be a struggle to govern a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and to reach a consensus among them, in terms of policy-making.

In conclusion
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
are facing general issues that are somewhat similar,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a variation in the demographic structure would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the frequency or severity of these obstacles. Considering the aforementioned arguments, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
may have a better potential for economic improvements and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social improvements, as long as it does not neglect its senior citizens and their experience.
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IELTS essay Societies with younger people

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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