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Societies that don’t respect and honour their women can never make progress. v.3

Societies that don’t respect and honour their women can never make progress. v. 3
History has proven the fact that the societies and civilisations which haven't respected rights and safety of women have perished badly. I am strongly in accord with history here, and firmly believe that respect and safety of women are the basic foundations of a society. It is imperative that if a community is not providing equal rights to women and if women are bereft of basic freedom, there cannot be an ounce of progress in that society. To buttress my point of view, I would like to strike comparisons between two countries: India and the USA. Although the constitution of India has legislated 33% of reservation for women, even after more than 50 years of independence, India has failed to respect its women. India is struggling to change the Male chauvinist mindset of its man brethren, who still consider themselves superior to women. The staggering rate of rape cases and nuisances against women is a reflection of this mindset. With these state of affairs for women, India has a long way to go to make its society an honourable place for women. In contrast to India, USA has done a very good job in terms of respecting its women, treating them as equal. The super power status of America can be equally attributed to the women in the USA who have equally contributed to the progress of the country. Woman of this world wears many hats at the same time. They are mothers, wives, sisters and office bearers at the same time. A woman holds the noblest responsibility in the mankind of bringing the life to the earth. They nurture and develop a child into the youth and shape them into future of a nation and of the world. Women have proven themselves worthy of many accolades if given equal opportunity. For instance, in the last year's Olympic tally for India, Women won more medals than Man. It is thus apparent that to build a full blown progressive society, women plays a key role and thus must be respected in all manners. In a nutshell, men and woman must be treated equally in the eyes of the society. Respect for women should be inculcated in the blood of a society. To make this world a better place to live, awareness should be spread to treat the woman with utmost reverence. I would recommend, Nations should work together to solve each other's problems and make a resolve in upholding the esteem of women.
History has proven the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisations' is British English.
civilisations
which haven't respected rights and safety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have perished
badly
. I am
strongly
in accord with history here, and
firmly
believe that respect and safety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are the basic foundations of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. It is imperative that if a community is not providing equal rights to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are bereft of basic freedom, there cannot be an ounce of progress in that society.

To buttress my point of view, I would like to strike comparisons between two countries: India and the USA. Although the constitution of India has legislated 33% of reservation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, even after more than 50 years of independence, India has failed to respect its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. India is struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the Male chauvinist mindset of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
brethren, who
still
consider themselves superior to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. The staggering rate of rape cases and nuisances against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is a reflection of this mindset. With these state of affairs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, India has a long way to go to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
an
Possible spelling mistake found.
honourable
place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
In contrast
to India, USA has done a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job in terms of respecting its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, treating them as equal. The super power status of America can be
equally
attributed to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the USA who have
equally
contributed to the progress of the country.

Woman of this world wears
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hats at the same time. They are mothers, wives, sisters and office bearers at the same time. A woman holds the noblest responsibility in the mankind of bringing the life to the earth. They nurture and develop a child into the youth and shape them into future of a nation and of the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
have proven themselves worthy of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
accolades if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal opportunity.
For instance
, in the last year's Olympic tally for India,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
won more medals than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Man
. It is
thus
apparent that to build a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
full blown
progressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
plays a key role and
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be respected
in all manners.

In a nutshell,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and woman
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be treated
equally
in the eyes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Respect for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should
be inculcated
in the blood of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this world a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, awareness should
be spread
to treat the woman with utmost reverence. I would recommend, Nations should work together to solve each other's problems and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a resolve in upholding the esteem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Societies that don’t respect and honour their women can never make progress. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
412 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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