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Social sites such as facebook and instagram has negative impact on people . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Social sites such as facebook and instagram has negative impact on people. yGdeM
Number of people are using social websites like instagram, facebook, snapchat etecetra. Few people believe that there is negative effect of social media but according to me there is more benifits as compared to drawbacks. I will discuss my points upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, social media helpful to increase business because people can advertise their business offers on social media as well as they can promote import and export business through this, such as, international brands, nike, puma and other brands also running by online. Moreover, with the help of social sites people can make new friends, when they feel alone they can chat with people who are living in other countries also and living in same country. For example, people are marriying now with the help of social sites because they communicate with each other then they decide marriage with each other. On the other hand, there are few drawbacks of social sites when people use it wrong way like people make fake identy on these sites and chatting with inocent people. That fake people cheat with good people and they play with their feelings, such as fake love. Furthermore, excessive use of social sites are negative impact on children because they do not concentrate on their study, they face loss in their study like reduce marks in their subjects. To conclude, i think social media is not responsible for negative impact. When people use excessivly then it is bad for them.
Number of
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people
are using
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social
websites like
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instagram
,
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facebook
,
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snapchat
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etecetra
. Few
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people
believe that there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
according to me there is more
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
as compared to drawbacks. I will discuss my points upcoming paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
helpful to increase business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can advertise their business offers on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
as well
as they can promote import and export business through this, such as, international brands,
Possible spelling mistake found.
nike
, puma and
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other
brands
also
running by online.
Moreover
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends, when they feel alone they can chat with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are living in
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other
countries
also
and living in same country.
For example
,
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people
are
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marriying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
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social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they communicate with each
Did you mean "other than"?
other then
they decide marriage with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are few drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
fake
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identy
on these
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sites
and chatting with
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inocent
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people
. That fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cheat with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they play with their feelings, such as fake
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love
.
Furthermore
, excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not concentrate on their study, they face loss in their study like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
marks in their subjects.
To conclude
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is not responsible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake found.
excessivly
then it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for them.
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IELTS essay Social sites such as facebook and instagram has negative impact on people.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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