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social media means paradise to every people around the world

social media means paradise to every people around the world AN7x
Besides, inventing of social media means paradise to every people around the world as they can provide people with instantly news and reminding. Unlike traditional one, which needs lots of process, what the workers of social media do is to write an essay and public through their devices directly. Ergo, people can receive the information immediately and avoid influences some issues bring to them. For instance, during the spreading of virus, people can acquire the benefits of social media by watching latest situation including dangerous places, and then avoid to go there. However, if people just depend on traditional media, it is too late to obtain the news, which may cause potential threat to peoples’ life. Therefore, in order to get information quickly, more and more people will select social media in the future.
Besides
, inventing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
means paradise to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world as they can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
instantly
news and reminding. Unlike traditional one, which needs lots of process, what the workers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
do is to write an essay and public through their devices
directly
. Ergo,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can receive the information immediately and avoid influences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues bring to them.
For instance
, during the spreading of virus,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can acquire the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
by watching
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
situation including
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
places, and then
The verb 'avoid' is used with the gerund form: "avoid going".
avoid to go
there.
However
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
depend on traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, it is too late to obtain the news, which may cause potential threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
life.
Therefore
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information
quickly
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in the future.
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IELTS essay social media means paradise to every people around the world

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
134 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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