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Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child's development. However others argue that other things like television or friends has the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child's development. However others argue that other things like television or friends has the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion NDxW
It is true that good nourishment and development of a child is very important some people say that parents play a vital role in development of child, whereas others believe that the factors like television and friends has also played a great role. In my perception, both have importance in a child's life and it is hard to decide which factor leads other. To begin with, there are number of ways how parents play a great role in child's development and nourishment. First and foremost is that parents play a very valuable role in children's life. They are the first and best teachers of a child. They take care and protect their children since birth. They teach everything to children like how to eat, how to walk, what is good and bad and so on. Secondly, parents encourage their children to do lot of activities and they fulfill the demands of children. They teach them moral values. Parents are role model for their children and children imitate parents behaviour very easily so they try to not showing their bad habits to their children. On the other hand, friends also play an important role in children's development. Children learn how to perform in a group and they also came to know about how to make good relationships with each other, how to co-operate and share things with each other. Probing further, television also helps to develop attitude, creativity and knowledge among children through different programs. They watch number of motivational movies, action movies and cartoons. In this way, they become more curious to know about technology. For example, when they see any Spiderman movie then they also imagine to become Spiderman and do activities like that. Hence, all these factors play a crucial role in children's life. To conclude, above said three things influence for a child development. It depends on child's behaviour how they adopt and think about these things.
It is true that
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good
nourishment and
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development
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
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very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
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some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, whereas others believe that the factors like television and friends has
also
played a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
. In my perception, both have importance in a child's life and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to decide which factor leads
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other
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are number of ways how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
and nourishment.
First
and foremost is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in children's life. They are the
first
and best teachers of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. They take care and protect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
since birth.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
teach everything to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like how to eat, how to walk, what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Secondly
,
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parents
encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
activities and
they fulfill the demands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They teach them moral values.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
model for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
imitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they try to not showing their
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bad
habits to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, friends
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
learn how to perform in a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
group and
they
also
came to know about how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationships with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, how to co-operate and share things with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Probing
further
, television
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to develop attitude, creativity and knowledge among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
programs. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
number of motivational movies, action movies and cartoons. In this way, they become more curious to know about technology.
For example
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any
Possible spelling mistake found.
Spiderman
movie then they
also
The verb 'imagine' is used with the gerund form: "imagine becoming".
imagine to become
Possible spelling mistake found.
Spiderman
and do activities like that.
Hence
, all these factors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in children's life.
To conclude
, above said three things influence for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. It depends on child's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
how they adopt and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about these things.
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IELTS essay Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child's development. However others argue that other things like television or friends has the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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