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Social Media is the real cause of teenage depression. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement and present some ways to overcome depression.

Social Media is the real cause of teenage depression. How far and present some ways to overcome depression. Wnljq
Since the turn of the 21st century, the contention of social media impairing teenagers has caught the society’s attention. Although some believe internet platforms such as Facebook, Instagram and Tiktok, are the major root of teenage depression, others advocate negation to this idea and I stand together with them. As a teenager, I believe that social media has a number of impacts on my daily life, however, not all of them are abominable. Firstly, never before had technology profoundly influenced the global population, especially the younger generation who spend plenty of their time surfing the internet, with consequences of isolation, unhealthy sleep schedule, etc. Additionally, in the eyes of elderly populace, it seems like these platforms are activating sedentary life style as teenagers usually stay in their rooms using social media instead of going out like in old days. Due to this generation gap, they chide these internet platforms account for all of the mental issues, not acknowledging other stressful problems and difficulties that we have to encounter. Furthermore, social networks offer more awesome advantages than dismal disadvantages. For example, during Covid-19 pandemic, social media becomes not only the easiest but also the safest communicating form. Moreover, according to the Oxford University’s research, foreign students or workers who use social media to communicate with families are less likely to deal with depression than who do not. Social media can be a plethora of information for countless categories and plus, there are even online communities which support depressed individuals, creating a warm environment. In the aggregate, as each human being has problems of their own, not only just social media, which can lead to a depressive life and consulting with professional therapists, following their medical instructions, meditation and keeping in touch with loved ones might debase depression.
Since the turn of the 21st century, the contention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
impairing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
has caught the society’s attention. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe internet platforms such as Facebook, Instagram and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tiktok
, are the major root of teenage depression, others advocate negation to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and I stand together with them. As a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has a number of impacts on my daily life,
however
, not all of them are abominable.

Firstly
, never
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
had technology
profoundly
influenced the global population,
especially
the younger generation who spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of their time surfing the internet, with consequences of isolation, unhealthy sleep schedule, etc.
Additionally
, in the eyes of elderly populace, it seems like these platforms are activating sedentary life style as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
usually
stay in their rooms using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
instead
of going out like in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days. Due to this generation gap, they chide these internet platforms account for
Consider using "all the".
all of the
mental issues, not acknowledging other stressful problems and difficulties that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
encounter.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks offer more awesome advantages than dismal disadvantages.
For example
, during Covid-19 pandemic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
becomes not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the easiest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the safest communicating form.
Moreover
, according to the Oxford University’s research, foreign students or workers who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to communicate with families are less likely to deal with depression than
Did you mean "whom"?
who
do not.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can be a plethora of information for countless categories and plus, there are even online communities which support depressed individuals, creating a warm environment.

In the aggregate, as each human being has problems of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, which can lead to a depressive life and consulting with professional therapists, following their medical instructions, meditation and keeping in touch with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
might debase depression.
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IELTS essay Social Media is the real cause of teenage depression. How far and present some ways to overcome depression.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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