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Describe a technological device that you would like to buy in the future

Describe a technological device that you would like to buy in the future x8Gj1
Honestly, I have a wishlist with many special things and I want to buy all of them. but the thing i want to buy the most is an apple ipad. It was released by Apple Company a while ago and many people had it. It looks absolutely beautiful and I think I fell in love with it at first sight. In fact, I have never used any Apple product before. but i have heard of its amazing features, and its appearance looks very nice. For me and many other young people, an Apple item is more than just a communication or entertainment device. It is more about one’s fashion, lifestyle and personal image. In today's world, a lot of people look at the tech gadgets you use to judge yourself. So, owning a modern ipad would help improve your impression on others, if that’s something that matters to you. At the moment, an ipad iphone costs about 1 thousand dollars. It’s huge money. I don't have that much money. So I'll wait for the price to get a little lower, then I'll get a part-time job and save money to buy it.
Honestly
, I have a wishlist with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
special things and I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
all of them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
the thing
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the most is an
Did you mean the proper noun "Apple" (= technology company)?
apple
Possible spelling mistake found.
ipad
. It
was released
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
a while ago and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had it. It looks
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I fell in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with it at
first
sight. In fact, I have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apple
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have heard of its amazing features, and its appearance looks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
nice. For me and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apple
item is more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a communication or entertainment device. It is more about one’s fashion, lifestyle and personal image. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
look at the tech gadgets you
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
judge yourself.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, owning a modern
Possible spelling mistake found.
ipad
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your impression on others, if that’s something that matters to you.

At the moment, an
Possible spelling mistake found.
ipad
Possible spelling mistake found.
iphone
costs about 1 thousand dollars. It’s huge money. I don't have that much money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I'll wait for the price to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
lower, then I'll
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a part-time job and save money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it.

IELTS essay Describe a technological device that you would like to buy in the future

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
192 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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