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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? gQND
Nowadays, almost everyone is on one social networking site or another. Some people believe that there are a few downsides to posting personal details on social networking platforms. In my opinion, this is true to a great extent and I do not believe that the benefits of using social media eclipse the drawbacks. Social media is a great platform to connect with friends and family. It enables people to trace long lost friends and stay in constant touch with family. This is a boon for people living away from their near and dear ones. Social media also enables like minded people to form virtual communities where they can share their interests, post their opinions and work together for their favourite causes. For business savvy people, social media is a great platform to find new customers and promote their products. On the downside, social media has plenty of negative aspects. Over the years, it has become platform to show off. Now many people are only using it to brag about their achievements. They post photos of their expensive acquisitions and exotic vacations on platforms like Facebook and Instagram. This can make their less privileged friends and acquaintances feel bad about their existence. Another downside of using social media platforms is that people are indiscriminately posting their personal information online oblivious to the fact that it can be stolen and misused. For example, when traveling people use geo-tagging applications to advertise their current location, they increase the risk of their home getting burgled. Personal photos posted online can also be misused and sometimes the consequences can be disastrous. Oftentimes social media companies themselves sell user data for making a profit. Social media has also been instrumental in breaking many homes. In short, social media is a great platform to connect with people only when it is used for its intended purpose. Unfortunately, these days, for many people it is merely a platform to boast of their achievements real and imaginary and for others it is a goldmine of personal data that they can exploit. Hence, in my opinion, the downsides of social media outweigh the upsides.
Nowadays, almost everyone is on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking site or another.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that there are a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downsides
to posting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
. In my opinion, this is true to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
extent and I do not believe that the benefits of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
eclipse the drawbacks.

Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
to connect with friends and family. It enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to trace
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lost
friends and stay in constant touch with family. This is a boon for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living away from their near and dear ones.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
also
enables
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
like minded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to form virtual communities where they can share their interests, post their opinions and work together for their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
causes. For business savvy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
to find new customers and promote their products.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downside
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects. Over the years, it has become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
using it to brag about their achievements. They post photos of their expensive acquisitions and exotic vacations on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
like Facebook and Instagram. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their less privileged friends and acquaintances feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
about their existence. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downside
of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
indiscriminately
posting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
information online oblivious to the fact that it can
be stolen
and misused.
For example
, when traveling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake found.
geo-tagging
applications to advertise their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
location, they increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of their home getting burgled.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Personal
photos posted online can
also
be misused
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the consequences can be disastrous. Oftentimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
themselves sell user data for making a profit.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
also
been instrumental in breaking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
homes.

In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
to connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for its intended purpose. Unfortunately, these days, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it is
merely
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
to boast of their achievements real and imaginary and for others it is a goldmine of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
data that they can exploit.
Hence
, in my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downsides
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
outweigh the upsides.
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IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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