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The developments in technology allow more and more machines to be used rather than human employees. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

The developments in technology allow more and more machines to be used rather than human employees. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? dNgE
The recent innovations in the science and technology has brought lot of advancement in different sectors and undoubtly there are lot of advantages towards the society, even though, there are many positive attributes by automated machines and robots, there can be numerous disadvantages too. This essay will discuss the pros and cons and will provide with my opinion on this matter. Firstly, I would like to consider the advantages of using automation and robots in our work environment. Machines are more accurate, effective and fast compared to the humans. Futhermore, it won't get tired or exhausted like human employees and can perform well to complete a task 24*7 without getting any breaks. Where as humans cannot exhaust their brains in a simillar manner to achieve targets. Most importantly, robots can be used in dangerous activities where humans cannot reach. As examples, working in nuclear plants, space travelling or discoveries under the deep sea can be easily conducted using robots. In the recent past for space missions to planet Mars have been successfully completed using robots and a lot of information were gathered for further experiments. Secondly, I would like to draw the attention towards the disadvantages of having more of machines in our work environment. Mainly, it has become a reason for unemployment as company owners believe that using robots and machines are more effective. Despite it's advantages it can never replace a human being as thinking, decision making, empathy and emotions are not included in machines which plays a vital role in work environment. Robots are programmed to complete a specific task and they cannot go beyond that to be more creative and add value towards the task. Similarly, machines are emotionless and cannot handle situations with empathy. Moreover, if a company relies too much on machines and if a machine breaks down the whole system will collapse and will cost a lot of money to re-establish everything back to normal. In conclusion, according to my perspective humans cannot be replaced by machines and companies must not rely too much on them either as there are more disadvantages if we try to depend more on machines.
The recent innovations in the science and technology has brought
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
advancement in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors and
Possible spelling mistake found.
undoubtly
there are
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
advantages towards the society,
even though
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attributes by automated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
and robots, there can be numerous disadvantages too. This essay will discuss the pros and cons and will provide with my opinion on this matter.
Firstly
, I would like to consider the advantages of using automation and robots in our work environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Machines
are more accurate, effective and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, it won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tired or exhausted like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
employees and can perform well to complete a task
Replace by the typographical symbol.
24*7
without getting any breaks.
Did you mean "Whereas"?
Where as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
cannot exhaust their brains in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
simillar
manner to achieve targets. Most
importantly
, robots can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
activities where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
cannot reach. As examples, working in nuclear plants, space travelling or discoveries under the deep sea can be
easily
conducted using robots. In the recent past for space missions to planet Mars have been
successfully
completed using robots and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of information
were gathered
for
further
experiments.
Secondly
, I would like to draw the attention towards the disadvantages of having more of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
in our work environment.
Mainly
, it has become a reason for unemployment as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
owners believe that using robots and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are more effective. Despite it's advantages it can never replace a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being as thinking,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
, empathy and emotions are not included in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
which plays a vital role in work environment. Robots
are programmed
to complete a specific
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
task and
they cannot go beyond that to be more creative and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
value towards the task.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are emotionless and cannot handle situations with empathy.
Moreover
, if a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
relies too much on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
and if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
breaks down the whole system will collapse and will cost a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of money to re-establish everything back to normal.
In conclusion
, according to my perspective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
cannot
be replaced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not rely too much on them either as there are more disadvantages if we try to depend more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
.
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IELTS essay The developments in technology allow more and more machines to be used rather than human employees. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
357 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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