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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? NRbq
Social media is a great platform to connect with friends and family. It enables people to trace long lost friends and stay in constant touch with family. This is a boon for people living away from their near and dear ones. Social media also enables like minded people to form virtual communities where they can share their interests, post their opinions and work together for their favourite causes. For business savvy people, social media is a great platform to find new customers and promote their products. On the downside, social media has plenty of negative aspects. Over the years, it has become platform to show off. Now many people are only using it to brag about their achievements. They post photos of their expensive acquisitions and exotic vacations on platforms like Facebook and Instagram. This can make their less privileged friends and acquaintances feel bad about their existence. Another downside of using social media platforms is that people are indiscriminately posting their personal information online oblivious to the fact that it can be stolen and misused. For example, when traveling people use geo-tagging applications to advertise their current location, they increase the risk of their home getting burgled. Personal photos posted online can also be misused and sometimes the consequences can be disastrous. Oftentimes social media companies themselves sell user data for making a profit. Social media has also been instrumental in breaking many homes. In short, social media is a great platform to connect with people only when it is used for its intended purpose. Unfortunately, these days, for many people it is merely a platform to boast of their achievements real and imaginary and for others it is a goldmine of personal data that they can exploit. Hence, in my opinion, the downsides of social media outweigh the upsides.
Social
media
is a great
platform
to connect with friends and family. It enables
people
to trace
long lost
friends and stay in constant touch with family. This is a boon for
people
living away from their near and dear ones.
Social
media
also
enables
like minded
people
to form virtual communities where they can share their interests, post their opinions and work together for their
favourite
causes. For business savvy
people
,
social
media
is a great
platform
to find new customers and promote their products. On the downside,
social
media
has
plenty
of
negative
aspects. Over the years, it has become
platform
to
show
off.
Now
many
people
are
only
using it to brag about their achievements. They post photos of their expensive acquisitions and exotic vacations on
platforms
like Facebook and Instagram. This can
make
their less privileged friends and acquaintances feel
bad
about their existence. Another downside of using
social
media
platforms
is that
people
are
indiscriminately
posting their personal information online oblivious to the fact that it can
be stolen
and misused.
For example
, when traveling
people
use
geo-tagging
applications to advertise their
current
location, they increase the
risk
of their home getting burgled. Personal photos posted online can
also
be misused
and
sometimes
the consequences can be disastrous. Oftentimes
social
media
companies
themselves sell user data for making a profit.
Social
media
has
also
been instrumental in breaking
many
homes.

In short,
social
media
is a great
platform
to connect with
people
only
when it is
used
for its intended purpose. Unfortunately, these days, for
many
people
it is
merely
a
platform
to boast of their achievements real and imaginary and for others it is a goldmine of personal data that they can exploit.
Hence
, in my opinion, the downsides of
social
media
outweigh the upsides.
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IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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