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Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. What are advantage and disadvantage of that?

Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. What are advantage and disadvantage of that? RNV8V
People of all ages use social media nowadays. There is a possibility of risk when we share personal information in these sites. People can gain knowledge and information by sharing information and knowledge but sharing personal details involves risks. On one hand, there are a number of advantages to people by sharing their private details. Firstly, it helps people find like-minded persons in the global community. This will help them to share knowledge and discuss their common interest and may result getting a good companion. Secondly, sharing personal information in common platform will help people fulfill their needs. For instance, when we search for a product in Facebook it will automatically generate numerous sites for buying this product at the best price. On the other hand, children frequently become victims of cyber bullying by sharing their details with unknown person on social media. It becomes the key to online predators to exploit children and involve them in criminal activity consequently spoiling their future. Another possible issue is cyber hacking. Even though social media has strong anti-malware, sometimes there are breaches. For example, if Facebook is hacked, all your personal photos and chats will be open for the public. As a result, you may get a threat call for money or it can be misused in any other form.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
of all ages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
social media nowadays. There is a possibility of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
when we share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in these sites.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can gain knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
involves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.

On one hand, there are a number of advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
their private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find like-minded persons in the global community. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to share knowledge and discuss their common interest and may result getting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
companion.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in common platform will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fulfill their needs.
For instance
, when we search for a product
The usual collocation for "Facebook" is "on". Did you mean "on Facebook"?
in Facebook
it will
automatically
generate numerous sites for buying this product at the best price.

On the other hand
, children
frequently
become victims of
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber bullying
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
with unknown person on social media. It becomes the key to online predators to exploit children and involve them in criminal activity
consequently
spoiling their future. Another possible issue is cyber hacking.
Even though
social media has strong anti-malware,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
there are breaches.
For example
, if Facebook
is hacked
, all your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
photos and chats will be open for the public.
As a result
, you may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a threat call for money or it can
be misused
in any other form.
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IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. What are advantage and disadvantage of that?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
218 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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