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lack of student study science subjects

lack of student study science subjects E3dob
It is undeniable that the causes of the scarcity of learners studying in science fields can be major’s challenge and limitation of career options meanwhile the results as the imbalance in the workforce distribution should be counted. The first factor causing the decreasing tendency in the number of students who select science subjects is major’s challenge. In fact, it can be observed that there are several subjects, namely chemistry, math are extremely arduous, for learners who ought to deal with complicated formulas, theory-based lessons. Furthermore, the shortage of laboratory equipment, and hands-on experiences in some nations have caused science subjects to uninteresting. Consequently, instead of spending time on outdoor activities, learners have to spend most of their time working on homework, that can causes discouragement for students. Besides the major’s challenge, the limitation of career opportunities is also a reason for this phenomenon, because of the fact that graduates in science fields are unlikely to be able to get a suitble and stable jobs in order to earn a living. Instead, students are likely to choose a major that is not so demanding but still makes it easier for them to find a job. Although researchers around the world are pointing out the reasons why students are not keen on studying science fields, there are still a few countries have ignored these alerts. However, if this phenomenon is still rising, people will be face with plenty of consequences. The most vital consequence of the deficiency of learners majoring science subjects could be the imbalance of workers in the working world. This trend may not only lead to the lack of employees in scientific fields but also cause a insufficiency of technical breakthroughs. Consequently, there may be a crisis in the workforce due to the disparity in the number of graduates choosing other fields such as business and those who study science. As a result, this will increase the burden of unemployment on the society. For instance, if there is not enough personnel researching in meteorology, there will be a shortage of experts or studies to warn about imminent natural disasters, global warming, creating a threat danger to mankind. To conclude, the scarcity of students picking science fields is caused by its challenge and job opportunity and this trend may result in crisis in workforce. If this phenomenon is continues, it may lead to several drawback in developing the civilization of humanity.
It is undeniable that the causes of the scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenge
and limitation of career options meanwhile the results as the imbalance in the workforce distribution should
be counted
.

The
first
factor causing the decreasing tendency in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenge
. In fact, it can
be observed
that there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
namely
chemistry, math are
extremely
arduous, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
who ought to deal with complicated formulas, theory-based lessons.
Furthermore
, the shortage of laboratory equipment, and hands-on experiences in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations have caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to uninteresting.
Consequently
,
instead
of spending time on outdoor activities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend most of their time working on homework, that can causes discouragement for students.

Besides
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenge
, the limitation of career opportunities is
also
a reason for this phenomenon,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
graduates in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
are unlikely to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
suitble
and stable jobs in order to earn a living.
Instead
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are likely to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
that is
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
demanding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier for them to find a job.

Although researchers around the world are pointing out the reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not keen on studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
, there are
still
a few countries have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
these alerts.
However
, if this phenomenon is
still
rising,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be
Consider using a past participle here: "faced".
face
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of consequences.

The most vital consequence of the deficiency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
majoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
could be the imbalance of workers in the working world. This trend may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lead to the lack of employees in scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
cause
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
insufficiency of technical breakthroughs.
Consequently
, there may be a crisis in the workforce due to the disparity in the number of graduates choosing other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
such as business and those who study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
As a result
, this will increase the burden of unemployment on the society.
For instance
, if there is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
personnel researching in meteorology, there will be a shortage of experts or studies to warn about imminent natural disasters, global warming, creating a threat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to mankind.

To conclude
, the scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
picking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
is caused
by its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenge
and job opportunity and this trend may result in crisis in workforce. If this phenomenon is continues, it may lead to several drawback in developing the civilization of humanity.
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IELTS essay lack of student study science subjects

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
401 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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