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Most career choice demand vocational skills or specialist knowledge. however, despite this most schools still teach academic subjects such as history or social studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Most career choice demand vocational skills or specialist knowledge. however, despite this most schools still teach academic subjects such as history or social studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. XGlkY
Recently, professional training is an essential key factor for child's development. Hence, many institutions demand professional knowledge or expert skill. Whereas, several schools teach academic sources yet like, history or social studies. Before reaching to any suitable conclusion the positive and negative of the given notion will be elaborated further in the following paragraphs. On the one side, most school still prefere history and social studies rather than vocational studies, which gives an enormous benefits to the students. Firstly, children can learn the value of historical monuments. Moreover, they can get knowledge about history of their country. To illustrate, children get attraction towards the old monuments and they want to protect that place for long time. Secondly, from the social studies, children become more aware about the environment protection. In addition, they can learn about the prevention of natural resources of the globe. Also, students gain morals of the historical life from history as well as social study courses rather than practical studies. One the flip side, there are several drawbacks of teaching academic subjects in schools rather than specific knowledge. Primarily, children might be face consequences in their higher studies or work due to the lack of professional skills. For instance, recently, in India, many schools teach history or social studies. Hence, their students might be suffer from stress in their career as they can not handle the situations in work without expert knowledge. Secondarily, with the increasing trend of professional skills give more opportunities to achive high salary jobs in their career-line. Moreover, the students become independent with their compensation success in their career. To recapitulate, increasing trend of vocational studies and an academic tuitions give the advantageous as well as disadvantageous impacts on the development of child's career and their education.
Recently,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
training is an essential key factor for child's development.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
institutions demand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
or expert
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. Whereas, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
teach academic sources
yet
like,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
reaching to any suitable conclusion the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notion will
be elaborated
further
in the following paragraphs.

On the one side, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
still
Possible spelling mistake found.
prefere
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
rather
than vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, which gives an enormous
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "benefit"?
benefits
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn the value of historical monuments.
Moreover
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of their country. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attraction towards the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
monuments and
they want to protect that place for long time.
Secondly
, from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become more aware about the environment protection.
In addition
, they can learn about the prevention of natural resources of the globe.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain morals of the historical life from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
courses
rather
than practical studies.

One the flip side, there are several drawbacks of teaching academic subjects in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
rather
than specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
Primarily
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might be face consequences in their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
or work due to the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
, recently, in India,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
Hence
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might be
Consider using the past participle "suffered"?
suffer
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in their career as they can not handle the situations in work without expert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
Secondarily
, with the increasing trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
give more opportunities to
Possible spelling mistake found.
achive
high salary jobs in their career-line.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become independent with their compensation success in their career.

To recapitulate, increasing trend of vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and an academic
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitions
give the advantageous
as well
as disadvantageous impacts on the development of child's career and their education.
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IELTS essay Most career choice demand vocational skills or specialist knowledge. however, despite this most schools still teach academic subjects such as history or social studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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