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Social Media has helped us increase our virtual networks. This has isolated us physically, making us socially awkward in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Social Media has helped us increase our virtual networks. This has isolated us physically, making us socially awkward in person. gY2MD
I strongly agree that with the advancements of technology, social media has gaind it's fair share in the tremendous surge of bulding digital networks that negitively impacted people's physical as well as mental health. This eassy will disscuss how socal media is distrubing the individual's health pattren in the following two paragraphs. social media platforms are creating boundries around individuals virtually. This because, people can connect to various individuals accross the globe just having a minimual internet connection. This virtual intractions, although, building up connections around the world, end up isolating the people from the physical world and because of this end up developing health issues. For instance, people spent hours on social media platforms like facebook and tweeter without getting indulged in any kind of physical activity and therefor getting affected by obesity at their early stages. In addition to this, a major section of people developed the introvert skills rather than social skills and end up developing an akward situation when mingiling with people socially. This is because, people lost the touch of face to face communication with the development of these platforms were people usually communucate through massangers. This virtual intractions undermined the confidence levels of people's social skills thus, leaving them in a embersing situation. For example, an introvert habituated to social media intractions feel shy to talk to others in person in any kind of social gatherings and because of this end up expirencing socially awkward in person. In conclusion, although, building up virtual network is a positive sign, people end up isolating themselves from physical world. This social media addiction not only affect individuals physical health, but also result in loosing their social intractive skills. This is way i feel social media have a negitive influence on people.
I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that with the advancements of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
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gaind
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
share in the tremendous surge of
Possible spelling mistake found.
bulding
digital networks that
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negitively
impacted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
as well
as mental
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health
. This
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eassy
will
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disscuss
how
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socal
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media
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
distrubing
the individual's
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health
Possible spelling mistake found.
pattren
in the following two paragraphs.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platforms are creating
Possible spelling mistake found.
boundries
around individuals
virtually
. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can connect to various individuals
Possible spelling mistake found.
accross
the globe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
having a
Possible spelling mistake found.
minimual
internet connection. This virtual
Possible spelling mistake found.
intractions
, although, building up connections around the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
up isolating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
world and
because of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
up developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues.
For instance
,
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people
spent hours on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platforms like
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
and tweeter without getting indulged in any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity and therefor getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by obesity at their early stages.

In addition
to this, a major section of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
developed the introvert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
up developing an
Possible spelling mistake found.
akward
situation when
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mingiling
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
socially
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lost the touch of face to face communication with the development of these platforms were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
Possible spelling mistake found.
communucate
through
Possible spelling mistake found.
massangers
. This virtual
Possible spelling mistake found.
intractions
undermined the confidence levels of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
thus
, leaving them in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
embersing
situation.
For example
, an introvert habituated to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
Possible spelling mistake found.
intractions
feel shy to talk to others in person in any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
gatherings and
because of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
up
Possible spelling mistake found.
expirencing
socially
awkward in person.

In conclusion
, although, building up virtual network is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
up isolating themselves from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
world. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
addiction not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affect individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
result in loosing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
Possible spelling mistake found.
intractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. This is way
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have a
Possible spelling mistake found.
negitive
influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Social Media has helped us increase our virtual networks. This has isolated us physically, making us socially awkward in person.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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