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People think that children should spend their time freely but others believe that they should spend it with special activities

People think that children should spend their time freely but others believe that they should spend it with special activities RkdYY
People learn through their entire lives. Curiosity was always the basic characteristic of human being. We always want to break limits and learn more. At this point some people believe that children should do organized activities in their free time whereas others believe that children should be free to do what they want to do in their free time. Of cause children who begin to do organized activities have more chances to succeed in the future. They gain more knowledge and experience which are valuable and priceless. Children always don't have free time to learn more. It surely depends on time management. In addition, studying more now this free time will give them the oppurtunity to perfect their knowledge in the future and become better professionals. However, for several reasons, I think that children shouldn't do organized activities in their all free time. Every child must have his or her childhood. That such basic qualities as kidness, self - confidence and just a good sense of humor can't be gained from studying. Children should spend more time with their family, playing and learning with their parents in their free time. When I was a young, I liked playing with my friends and spent more time with my parents. As a result, my mother always tried to stand by me in my trouble times while my father was the strongest "hero" for me all the time. However, I never gave up studying hard in my free time. It surely helps me to succeed in nowadays. In conclusion, I agree children to be free to do what they want which is really enjoyable.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
learn through their entire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Curiosity was always the basic characteristic of human being. We always want to break limits and learn more. At this point
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should do organized activities in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
whereas others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
to do what they want to do in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Did you mean "of course" (=naturally)?
Of cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to do organized activities have more chances to succeed in the future. They gain more knowledge and experience which are valuable and priceless.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
always don't have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to learn more. It
surely
depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management.
In addition
, studying more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will give them the
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppurtunity
to perfect their knowledge in the future and become better professionals.
However
, for several reasons, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
shouldn't do organized activities in their all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Every child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
childhood. That such basic qualities as
Possible spelling mistake found.
kidness
, self
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
confidence and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sense of humor can't
be gained
from studying.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family, playing and learning with their parents in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. When I was a young, I liked playing with my friends and spent more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with my parents.
As a result
,

my mother always tried to stand by me in my trouble
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
while my father was the strongest
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
hero
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
for me all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
, I never gave up studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It
surely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me to succeed
nowadays is used without 'in'. Use simply: "nowadays".
in nowadays
.
In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
to do what they want which is
really
enjoyable.
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IELTS essay People think that children should spend their time freely but others believe that they should spend it with special activities

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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