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social media between benefits and drawbacks

social media between benefits and drawbacks nx037
It is widely believed that social websites, such as Facebook, affected not only people but also societies negatively. However, a number of people would argue that it could be benefitial to our societies. I strongly agree that social networking sites has impacted passively on our individuals and brought chaos to our societies and separated them. First of all, one commonly cited reason of why social media divided people and separated them is that it doesn't create a sense of community and humality. due to the fact that when everyone demonstrates his valuables and other luxury items on Facebook, others will be jealous and they will tend to envy them, which in turn will lead to violence and aggression due to this envy. As a consequence, it makes the poor to be more averse to the rich. Another significant impact is that it makes people isolated and keep them away from the reality by spending too much time on these websites. On the other hand, using social networks can be useful in terms of making new friends and it permits you to be familiar with other cultures and traditions around the world. In contrast, it has also a significant passive effect on people who are newly married by distracting them from focusing on their symbiotic relationship. For instance, Facebook made cheating accessable to everyone which will disstabilize the trust between spouses and in most cases it leads to divorce. In conclusion, although social networks have good impacts on individuals and societies, it plays a major role in declining loyalty. Also peeple place high emphasis on social media more than they do on more important matters in real life.
It is
widely
believed that
social
websites, such as Facebook,
affected
not
only
people
but
also
societies
negatively
.
However
, a number of
people
would argue that it could be
benefitial
to our
societies
. I
strongly
agree
that
social
networking sites has impacted
passively
on our individuals and brought chaos to our
societies
and separated them.

First of all
, one
commonly
cited reason of why
social
media divided
people
and separated them is that it doesn't create a sense of community and
humality
.
due
to the fact that when everyone demonstrates his valuables and
other
luxury items on Facebook, others will be
jealous and
they will tend to envy them, which in turn will lead to violence and aggression due to this envy. As a consequence, it
makes
the poor to be more averse to the rich. Another significant impact is that it
makes
people
isolated and
keep
them away from the reality by spending too much time on these websites.

On the
other
hand, using
social
networks can be useful in terms of making new friends and it permits you to be familiar with
other
cultures and traditions around the world.
In contrast
, it has
also
a significant passive effect on
people
who are
newly
married by distracting them from focusing on their symbiotic relationship.
For instance
, Facebook made cheating
accessable
to everyone which will
disstabilize
the trust between spouses and
in most cases
it leads to divorce.

In conclusion
, although
social
networks have
good
impacts on individuals and
societies
, it plays a major role in declining loyalty.
Also
peeple
place high emphasis on
social
media more than they do on more
important
matters in real life.
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IELTS essay social media between benefits and drawbacks

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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