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In the previous century, the first man to walk on the moon said that was a great step to humankind. In fact, space travel has little impact on people’s lives nowadays. do you agree or disagree?

In the previous century, the first man to walk on the moon said that was a great step to humankind. In fact, space travel has little impact on people’s lives nowadays. 2xjmx
The first human who walked on the moon is the greatest event of all time in the last century but these days, it does not have much influence on individuals in everyday lives. I personally agree with this idea and my view will be explained in this essay. The first step on the moon represents the closer information about space but it does not impact humans’ lives. In particular, it is the first time humans get to know more about outer space, specifically the moon, which individuals have not known much about it before. But nowadays, space exploration is still in research and experiment progress and does not have much influence on human living. For instance, NASA organization might be researching how individuals can transport to outer space more effectively but no one has enough experience and condition can get a chance to do it. It also hardly has deep information about space for citizens Furthermore, not so many people have the knowledge and are interested in exploring space compared to others, like ocean exploration. Although space exploration was a great impact in the previous century these days, there are more things that influence individuals such as technology and the environment. In particular, in this fast-paced development, technology is the greatest impact on people’s lives, such as the development of smartphones and robots catering to citizens’ needs. For example, without those techs, people can not work effectively, students can not study online in this Covid-19 pandemic. Moreover, pollution such as air and water pollution are damaging human’s living and also animals in every aspect, such as breathing in polluted air can cause cancer and fishes can eat those trash when living the polluted ocean. Put it simply, the environment and technology are influence individuals every day. In conclusion, while the event of walking on the moon was a great impact on humankind in the last century, I believe that it is not as crucial as the influence of technology and the environment in this era.
The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
who walked on the moon is the greatest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
of all time in the last century
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these days, it does not have much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and my view will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in this essay.

The
first
step on the moon represents the closer information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
In particular
, it is the
first
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know more about outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
,
specifically
the moon, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
have not known much about it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration is
still
in research and experiment progress and does not have much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
living.
For instance
, NASA organization might be researching how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can transport to outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
more
effectively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no one has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
experience and condition can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to do it. It
also
hardly has deep information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
for citizens
Furthermore
, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the knowledge and
are interested
in exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
compared to others, like ocean exploration.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration was a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
in the previous century these days, there are more things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and the environment.
In particular
, in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced development,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, such as the development of smartphones and robots catering to citizens’ needs.
For example
, without those techs,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can not work
effectively
, students can not study online in this Covid-19 pandemic.
Moreover
, pollution such as air and water pollution are damaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
living and
also
animals in every aspect, such as breathing in polluted air can cause cancer and fishes can eat those trash when living the polluted ocean. Put it
simply
, the environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
every day.

In conclusion
, while the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
of walking on the moon was a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on humankind in the last century, I believe that it is not as crucial as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and the environment in this era.
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IELTS essay In the previous century, the first man to walk on the moon said that was a great step to humankind. In fact, space travel has little impact on people’s lives nowadays.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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