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Social media and friendship

Social media and friendship oEWqD
Social media has some positive and negative effects on friendship. First of all I talk about the positive effects of social media on friendship. Nowadays we use more social media for our relationships and this subject have some effects on our friendship, for example we can talk anyone around the world And time and place do not matter much in our communication. Then we have a lot friends around the world and now we have a wider social network. Also nowadays we are so busy and we do not have enough time to communicate with our friends, that's why social media gives us the opportunity to stay in touch. Finally when we are facing the Corona virus epidemic, social media has been a great help in maintaining our communication and increasing people's mental health. Although social media has some negative effects on friendship, nonetheless has some negative effects on friendship. some researchers shown that social media has negative affect on friendship, that's becuse nowadays we saw developments of technology and this subject affected on friendship in all of the aspects of friendship. For example, All of the people prefer social media for relationships and this spase don't have any security about our information and we can't have any correct information eachother, that's because we at this spase have a little information eachother and we don't have information a obout their body languages and a kind of face to face communication and facial expressions. Psychologist shown that, body languages can help us about knowing better eachother and when we don't have this component, we can't understand better each other. Also If social media grows in this way, our children's communication skills will decrease And our children will not be able to make friends and Sometimes they can not speak well in social communication And we will see a lack of direct communication skills among our children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
I talk about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
on friendship.

Nowadays we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
for our relationships and this subject have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effects on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
,
for example
we can talk anyone around the world And time and place do not matter much in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. Then we have
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of friends"?
a lot friends
around the world and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we have a wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
nowadays we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
busy and
we do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to communicate with our friends, that's why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
gives us the opportunity to stay in touch.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
when we are facing the
The term "Coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
Corona virus
epidemic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has been a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in maintaining our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
and increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mental health.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
, nonetheless has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects on friendship.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
researchers shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
, that's
Possible spelling mistake found.
becuse
nowadays we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
developments of technology and this subject
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
in
Consider using "all the".
all of the
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
.
For example
,
Consider using "all the".
All of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
for relationships and this
Possible spelling mistake found.
spase
don't have any security about our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
information and
we can't have any correct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
Possible spelling mistake found.
eachother
, that's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we at this
Possible spelling mistake found.
spase
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
eachother and
we don't have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
obout
their body languages and a kind of face to face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
and facial expressions.

Psychologist shown that, body languages can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us about knowing better
Possible spelling mistake found.
eachother
and when we don't have this component, we can't understand better each other.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
grows in this way, our children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
will decrease And our children will not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
they can not speak well in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
And we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a lack of direct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
among our children.
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IELTS essay Social media and friendship

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
315 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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