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cities are getting overcrowded

cities are getting overcrowded NmAEb
The proliferation in the population became an acute menace of the world. Moreover, urban areas are enormously expanding and becoming congested. Although, this concern can be attributed to the whole host of reasons, we will ponder the necessary remedies that should be considered to address this problem. To commence with, first and foremost cause of overpopulation is ample employment services, which are readily available in the huge cities. In other words, an individual easily gets a job opportunity whether has a specific academic background; additionally, myriad of industries are mainly situated in the city centre and are responsible for alluring more and more outsiders. However, this troublesome situation can be tackled by encouraging rural people to own a tiny business, particularly local craft work, handmade jewellery, fishing, farming and several others. The second prominent reason of shifting metropolitan areas is requirement of the stable life. To illustrate an instance, people are raising their living standards as the legal authorities provide excellent health-care facilities to the city residents. What is more, the education system is far better than villages' one such as modern classroom with beneficial amenities. By introducing this contemporary education system into the suburb places, a student will not only acquire knowledge, moreover also he/she will enhance his/her cognitive skill. To recapitulate, though there are certainly numerous causes of overcrowding in the developed areas, yet this problem could be mitigated by taking serious steps. If the government implements the transport system and develops outskirt areas, rural dwellers will less likely to shift towards enormous cities owing to the fact that self-dependency as well as inferiority issue among especially pupils will be plummeted.
The proliferation in the population became an acute menace of the world.
Moreover
, urban
areas
are
enormously
expanding and becoming congested. Although, this concern can
be attributed
to the whole host of reasons, we will ponder the necessary remedies that should
be considered
to address this problem.

To commence with,
first
and foremost cause of overpopulation is ample employment services, which are
readily
available in the huge
cities
.
In other words
, an individual
easily
gets
a job opportunity whether has a specific academic background;
additionally
, myriad of industries are
mainly
situated in the city
centre
and are responsible for alluring more and more outsiders.
However
, this troublesome situation can
be tackled
by encouraging rural
people
to
own
a tiny business,
particularly
local craft work, handmade
jewellery
, fishing, farming and several others.

The second prominent reason of shifting metropolitan
areas
is requirement of the stable life. To illustrate an instance,
people
are raising their living standards as the legal authorities provide excellent health-care facilities to the city residents.
What is more
, the education system is far better than villages' one such as modern classroom with beneficial amenities. By introducing this contemporary education system into the suburb places, a student will not
only
acquire knowledge,
moreover
also
he/she will enhance his/her cognitive
skill
.

To recapitulate, though there are
certainly
numerous causes of overcrowding in the developed
areas
,
yet
this problem could
be mitigated
by taking serious steps. If the
government
implements the transport system and develops outskirt
areas
, rural dwellers will less likely to shift towards enormous
cities
owing to the fact that self-dependency
as well
as inferiority issue among
especially
pupils will
be plummeted
.
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IELTS essay cities are getting overcrowded

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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