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Smoking must be banned by the governments

Smoking must be banned by the governments wKMmn
Have you ever been in a public place with a heavy smoker? Don’t you prefer that person should go to a specific place to smoke? What does come to your mind when you hear someone has heart attack? Regardless of smoking is harmful or not, people around the world smoke billions cigarettes a day and also spend lots of money for smoking. Some people believes that smoking must be banned because it hurts everybody’s health and factories must stop manufacturing cigarette. It means that no one can find any cigarette in any store and shops and it can improve society health. Some others believes that smoking is a personal issue and also it is a right for a person to smoke. When smoking banned, their freedom is limited. Based on freedom rights, everyone can do anything unless affecting of the rights of others, but smoking may not directly influence other’s rights, it can affects society indirectly. For example, when a person smokes a lot and it causes a problem for him/her, his/her family are influenced. Someone believes smoking help them to confront with social and personal problems, thus it can be helpful for calm down the level of society stresses. However, smoking must be balanced. On one hand, government can raise tax of cigarette and determine specific places in public environments for smokers, like separating train wagons, separated halls in restaurant and so on and on the other hand, culture building can decrease smoking, like changing package of cigarettes to undesirable form, stop showing smoking in movies and so on. In conclusion, decreasing smoking in society cause healthier society and less money waste, but, it needs more time and money for culture building and making restricting laws for accessibility and usage of cigarette.
Have you ever been in a public place with a heavy smoker? Don’t you prefer that person should go to a specific place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
? What does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to your mind when you hear someone has heart attack? Regardless of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is harmful or not,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
billions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
a day and
also
spend lots of money for smoking.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it hurts everybody’s health and factories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
. It means that no one can find any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
in any store and shops and it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
others
You should probably use "believe".
believes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is a personal issue and
also
it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
for a person to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
banned, their freedom
is limited
. Based on freedom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
, everyone can do anything unless affecting of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
of others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
may not
directly
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
, it can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "affect"
affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
indirectly
.
For example
, when a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smokes
a lot and it causes a problem for him/her, his/her family
are influenced
. Someone believes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to confront with social and personal problems,
thus
it can be helpful for calm down the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be balanced
. On one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can raise tax of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
and determine specific places in public environments for smokers, like separating train wagons, separated halls in restaurant and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on and on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, culture building can decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, like changing package of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
to undesirable form,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in movies and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

In conclusion
, decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
cause healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and less money waste,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it needs more time and money for culture building and making restricting laws for accessibility and usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
.

IELTS essay Smoking must be banned by the governments

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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