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Smoking is not only harm to smoker but also those who are near by. Therefore smoking should banned in public places. To what extend do you agree or disagree v.1

Smoking is not only harm to smoker but also those who are near by. Therefore smoking should banned in public places. v. 1
In present era, there is a rising trend of smoking, especially among the younger generation. Smoking has evident detrimental effects on both, the smoker and the people in his surroundings. It is claimed that, smoking should be prohibited in the public areas. I strongly agree that, smoking should be banned publicly to prevent its negative aspects on people. Most of the youth stars using cigarettes or other products in their universities for an enjoyment. But later they addicted to this habit and starts smoking in public places. Some people argue that smoking helps to reduce mental stress. For instance, a recent survey conducted in India revealed the fact that about 60% of teenagers were using cigarettes in their exam seasons and interview periods. In addition, some other category argued that smoking is useful to warm the body in cold climate. For example the number of smokers in European countries are significantly larger compared to Asian countries. Smoking will adversely affect smokers’ physical and mental health. A recent Survey conducted in USA pointed out that excessive amount of smoking will lead mouth cancer. Smoking in public places adversely affects physical health of other people. For example, if a pregnant lady inhale the smoke it will negatively affect the brain development of the fetus. Some time smoking will lead to serious reactions in asthma or other breathing issue patients. Smoking in front of a child make him a tendency to use this product and will negatively affect their mental and physical development. In conclusion Smoking is not at all a good habit. So we can stay away from these kinds of bad habits and help others to lead a healthy life.
In present era, there is a rising trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
,
especially
among the younger generation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
has evident detrimental effects on both, the smoker and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in his surroundings. It
is claimed
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
should
be prohibited
in the public areas. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
should
be banned
publicly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Most of the youth stars using cigarettes or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
products in their universities for an enjoyment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
later they addicted to this habit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in public places.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted in India revealed the fact that about 60% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
were using cigarettes in their exam seasons and interview periods.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
category argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is useful to warm the body in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
climate.
For example
the number of smokers in European countries are
significantly
larger compared to Asian countries.

Smoking will
adversely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
smokers’ physical and mental health. A recent Survey conducted
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
pointed out that excessive amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
will lead mouth cancer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
in public places
adversely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affects
physical health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, if a pregnant lady inhale the smoke it will
negatively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
the brain development of the fetus.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
will lead to serious reactions in asthma or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
breathing issue patients.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
in front of a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him a tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this product and will
negatively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
their mental and physical development.

In conclusion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
is not at all a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we can stay away from these kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others to lead a healthy life.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Smoking is not only harm to smoker but also those who are near by. Therefore smoking should banned in public places. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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