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smoking is an unhealthy behavior

smoking is an unhealthy behavior YwMmd
Although smoking is an unhealthy behavior, it has been highlighted as an emerging issue among youngsters. This essay will discuss why young generations are taking up this bad habit with some solutions to tackle this problem. Personally, the phenomenon can be divided into two principal factors. First, there is an increasing number of seductive advertising campaigns aimed at juveniles. This trend has occurred because youngsters have been quickly accessing a wide range of information on social platforms such as Facebook or Tiktok, which are heaven for tobacco companies advertising their products. Specifically, these companies have used social media to convey the image of sophisticated maturity among young people, which could also create a trend of smoking to have a sense of trendiness on the internet. Another point worth mentioning can be related to the widespread availability of cigarettes. This type of product is sold in many public places, namely parks, universities, and hospitals, making youngsters assume that smoking is encouraged. This availability may eventually cause a lack of awareness of the dangers of tobacco. These problems can be addressed if appropriate measures are to be taken. First of all, it is necessary to ban all cigarette advertising to reserve this disturbing trend. Instead, there should be some advertising social media campaign to give young people more information on the adversity of smoking. Besides that, prohibiting smoking on TV or in films will likely help youngsters stay away from the accessibility of cigarettes at a young age. Most importantly, there is little doubt that schools have an essential part in educating children about the detrimental consequences of smoking. Methods on identifying the dark side of tobacco advertising campaigns should be included in the teaching curriculum to help children be fully informed about various dangers of this negative trend. In general, though there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences of this tendency, societies can take steps to mitigate these potential problems.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is an unhealthy behavior, it has
been highlighted
as an emerging issue among youngsters. This essay will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations are taking up this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to tackle this problem.

Personally
, the phenomenon can
be divided
into two principal factors.
First
, there is an increasing number of seductive advertising campaigns aimed at juveniles. This trend has occurred
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
youngsters have been
quickly
accessing a wide range of information on social platforms such as Facebook or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tiktok
, which are heaven for tobacco
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
advertising their products.
Specifically
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
social media to convey the image of sophisticated maturity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which could
also
create a trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
to have a sense of trendiness on the internet. Another point worth mentioning can
be related
to the widespread availability of cigarettes. This type of product
is sold
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
public places,
namely
parks, universities, and hospitals, making youngsters assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is encouraged
. This availability may
eventually
cause a lack of awareness of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of tobacco.

These problems can
be addressed
if appropriate measures are to
be taken
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is necessary to ban all cigarette advertising to reserve this disturbing trend.
Instead
, there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advertising social media campaign to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more information on the adversity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
.
Besides
that, prohibiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
on TV or in films will likely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
youngsters stay away from the accessibility of cigarettes at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age. Most
importantly
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
doubt that schools have an essential part in educating children about the detrimental consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. Methods on identifying the dark side of tobacco advertising campaigns should
be included
in the teaching curriculum to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children be
fully
informed about various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend.

In general
, though there will
undoubtedly
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of this tendency, societies can take steps to mitigate these potential problems.
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IELTS essay smoking is an unhealthy behavior

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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