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Smoking in public places should be banned.Discuss view

Smoking in public places should be banned. Discuss view jRgOa
It is indeed true that smoking not only harmful to the smokers but also other people who are nearby those smoke. Therefore, a school of thought claims that smoking should be banned in public places for the betterment of citizens. I believe that it is the best way to improve the health of citizens. So the government should make stringent lows to bane smoking in public places. To embark upon, it is scientifically proved that smoking creates many health issues like cancer, asthma, heart problems, breathing problems, to name but a few. Smokers create problem to non-smokers also. When they do smoking, their smoke is really harmful to both smokers and non-smokers. Smokers usually do smoking in public places and those places are for everyone. As a result, innocent people become prey of diseases. For instance, the study has shown that 60% of the passive smokers, who stay around active smokers, suffer from severe diseases. That being reason, a section of people think that the government should restrict smoking in public places in order to save innocent people's lives. Furthermore, it is rightly said 'Seeing is believing'. Many children and youngsters are attracted to smoking by seeing others. Smoking in public places has paved the way for others. Many individuals think that it is not a bad habit as many humans do same and it creates a bad image in their innocent mind and they started adopting this habit. Apart from this, by restricting smoking in the public area, smokes may not find proper places for smoking, eventually, there are chances of declining the number of smokers. Also, the government save thousands of dollars which they use for the treatment of smoking-related cases which money can be useful in many other ways. Hence, to conclude, I acknowledge the fact that in order to reduce the number of smokers and save the community from the detrimental impact of smoking, smoking in public places must be prohibited.
It is
indeed
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
harmful to the smokers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are nearby those smoke.
Therefore
, a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
claims that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
should
be banned
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for the betterment of citizens. I believe that it is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the health of citizens.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
stringent lows to bane
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places.

To embark upon, it is
scientifically
proved that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health issues like cancer, asthma, heart problems, breathing problems, to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few. Smokers create problem to non-smokers
also
. When they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, their smoke is
really
harmful to both smokers and non-smokers. Smokers
usually
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are for everyone.
As a result
, innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
become prey of diseases.
For instance
, the study has shown that 60% of the passive smokers, who stay around active smokers, suffer from severe diseases. That being reason, a section of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should restrict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in order to save innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Furthermore
, it is
rightly
said 'Seeing is believing'.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
children and youngsters
are attracted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
by seeing others.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
has paved the way for others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
humans do same and it creates a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
image in their innocent
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mind and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
adopting this habit. Apart from this, by restricting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
area, smokes may not find proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
,
eventually
, there are chances of declining the number of smokers.
Also
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
save thousands of dollars which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for the treatment of smoking-related cases which money can be useful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways.

Hence
,
to conclude
, I acknowledge the fact that in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of smokers and save the community from the detrimental impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be prohibited
.
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IELTS essay Smoking in public places should be banned. Discuss view

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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