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Many people have health problems due to their unhealthy lifestyle. why is it the case? what can be done to solve this problem?

Many people have health problems due to their unhealthy lifestyle. why is it the case? what can be done to solve this problem? 8LGll
In this modern decade, most of people have been suffering through serious health issues because of their poor living standards and unbalanced diet. However, this essay will shed some light on the numerous reasons contributing towards this rising unhealthy lifestyle and also suggest some effective measures to overcome this challenge. To commence with, technological breakthrough and a-state-of-the-art devices have definitely been improving our way of living but at the same time, everyone is becoming more and more reliant on technology. Nowadays, individuals spend long hours exclusively sitting on televisions and desktops, especially young adults are more fanatic about programs and up-to-date online games. As a result, they even do not have adequate time to participate in sports, and even they are not intrigued in any physical work such as, cycling, walking and running. Consequently, they are prone to many threatening risks to their lives than the people were in the past, for instance, blood pressure, obesity, cardiac diseases and diabetes. Furthermore, another considerable cause is that people are extremely busy in their professional work due to the overwhelming workload that they do not have enough time to cook their meals. Thus, they consume junk food to satisfy their hunger which are high processed and rich in sugar and salt, and play pivotal role in the deterioration of their immune system. To counter these issues, first of all, exercise should be the the significant part of their daily routine, and in my perception, it is key to health. Moreover, they should learn to manage their time and prioritize their health over duties. They can do simple work out at homes as well as they can enroll in join gym because it is a good source to keep themselves energetic and motivated. Secondly, people should prefer to cook their food by their own rather then purchasing it from local markets, the reason being is that home-made products are highly rich in proteins and vitamins. Last but not least, government could also provide awareness to their public about health concerns via seminars and different campaigns. To conclude, Presently, technological advancements and a large amount of employment responsibilities make people lethargic and dependent on fast foods. In addition to that, they avoid to take part in any healthy activities due to to the lack of time and energy. However, by providing awareness and education about health concerns, this difficulty can be solved conveniently.
In this modern decade, most of
people
have been suffering through serious
health
issues
because
of their poor living standards and unbalanced diet.
However
, this essay will shed
some
light on the numerous reasons contributing towards this rising unhealthy lifestyle and
also
suggest
some
effective measures to overcome this challenge.

To commence with, technological breakthrough and a-state-of-the-art devices have definitely been improving our way of living
but
at the same
time
, everyone is becoming more and more reliant on technology. Nowadays, individuals spend long hours exclusively sitting on televisions and desktops,
especially
young adults are more fanatic about programs and up-to-date online games.
As a result
, they even do not have adequate
time
to participate in sports, and even they are not intrigued in any physical work such as, cycling, walking and running.
Consequently
, they are prone to
many
threatening
risks
to their
lives
than the
people
were in the past,
for instance
, blood pressure, obesity, cardiac diseases and diabetes.
Furthermore
, another considerable cause is that
people
are
extremely
busy in their professional work due to the overwhelming workload that they do not have
enough
time
to cook their meals.
Thus
, they consume junk food to satisfy their hunger which are high processed and rich in sugar and salt, and play pivotal role in the deterioration of their immune system.

To counter these issues,
first of all
, exercise should be
the the
significant part of their daily routine, and in my perception, it is key to
health
.
Moreover
, they should learn to manage their
time
and prioritize their
health
over duties. They can do simple work out at homes
as well
as they can enroll in
join
gym
because
it is a
good
source to
keep
themselves energetic and motivated.
Secondly
,
people
should prefer to cook their food by their
own
rather
then
purchasing it from local markets, the reason being is that home-made products are
highly
rich in proteins and vitamins. Last
but
not least,
government
could
also
provide awareness to their public about
health
concerns via seminars and
different
campaigns.

To conclude
,
Presently
, technological advancements and a large amount of employment responsibilities
make
people
lethargic and dependent on
fast
foods.
In addition
to that, they avoid to
take part
in any healthy activities due
to to
the lack of
time
and energy.
However
, by providing awareness and education about
health
concerns, this difficulty can
be solved
conveniently
.
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IELTS essay Many people have health problems due to their unhealthy lifestyle. why is it the case? what can be done to solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
399 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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