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Smartphones Advanced and disadvenced

Smartphones Advanced and disadvenced JwYbw
Today's world a great number of people use smartphones in their daily life. It's clear fact that smartphones allow us to connect the global world. Yet, there are not only benefits for the people but also disadvances particularly in children. Neverthless it is obvious that benefits of using smartphones is many more than disadvances, such as communication, access the information and for learning efficently. Many parents around the globe have been worrying naturally the education of their children. When it comes to use smartphones that could be harmful for attention at schools. That is reason why some teachers and parents think about baning smartphones for students so that focus could save from distraction. In some aspects, this may be solve this problem but on the other hand that could give rise to harmfull effects on students for instance in technological age they can be fell low motivated. Hence, it seems like unhelpfull solution. With the advent of the internet and thanks to technological developments, we have a great deal of features with very small sized and enough fast compared to last century. First of all the world in this age which is impossible to think without technology. In my opinion, the most significant part is education, to illustrate the people around the globe are able to learn foreign language without leaving their hometown. Since we need to integrate these devices with education system may be for children, a new software developed by experts to solve problems without baning. In conclusion, smartphones is used either good ways for education or it can be harmful for children's education. Although these negative sides of smartphone using at school, solution should not be come from inhibits regulations contrast to we need focus on creative solutions for different kinds of user groups but especially as to children.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's world a great number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smartphones in their daily life. It's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
fact that smartphones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to connect the global world.
Yet
, there are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
benefits for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
disadvances
particularly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Neverthless
it is obvious that benefits of using smartphones is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more than
Possible spelling mistake found.
disadvances
, such as communication, access the information and for learning
Possible spelling mistake found.
efficently
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents around the globe have been worrying
naturally
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smartphones that could be harmful for attention at schools.
That is
reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
teachers and parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
Possible spelling mistake found.
baning
smartphones for students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that focus could save from distraction. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects, this may be
Consider using the past participle "solved"?
solve
this problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
that could give rise to
Possible spelling mistake found.
harmfull
effects on students
for instance
in technological age they can be fell low motivated.
Hence
, it seems like
Possible spelling mistake found.
unhelpfull
solution.

With the advent of the internet and thanks to technological developments, we have a great deal of features with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
sized and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
compared to last century.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
the world in this age which is impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
without technology. In my opinion, the most significant part is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, to illustrate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the globe are able to learn foreign language without leaving their hometown. Since we need to integrate these devices with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system may be for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, a new software developed by experts to solve problems without
Possible spelling mistake found.
baning
.

In conclusion
, smartphones is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ways for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or it can be harmful for children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Although these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides of smartphone using at school, solution should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from inhibits regulations contrast to we need focus on creative solutions for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of user groups
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
especially
as to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Smartphones Advanced and disadvenced

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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