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Small enterprises are being phased out and replaced by big multinational corporations. Do the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks?

Small enterprises are being phased out and replaced by big multinational corporations. Do the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks? 2l3nw
In recent times advanced technologies brought out tremendous alternations at which small industries are being downward and rise of big corporates. Despite their being certain disadvantages i am convinced that the positive attributes of renovated corporates are much more, and this essay will elaborates the same. It is irrefutable that there are a couple of negative aspects often associated with the drop of small industries which big industries are being enlarged. Of the many the most noted one being is the decreased investments among small scale sectors. Infact, modernised technology developed much more in the 21st century including innovative ideas, newly machines, methods, whereas people who are involved in minute firms shall raise a large portion of money to enlarge the corporate. The clearest example that clarifies the viewpoint is, rodrigon company in thailand which exports a vast amount of tools around the globe diminished the production because of poor investment and improper development. Hence this statement excludes the setbacks of phased small sectors. Nevertheless, eventhough there are certain disadvantages above mentioned, i am of the opinion that advantages that growth of big companies are plentiful. The two major factors are cultural alternations and relationship with other nations. Inspite, in the virtual world industries have been changed the method of production according to the developments in society. The next account which states my view is creating new relationships with other nations. Indeed with the advent technology nowadays, big sectors increase their productivity through new ways and equipments which the imports and exports occur with a good relationship with othet regions. Therefore, merits of this trend are many compared to drawbacks. By concluding this account it justifies that poor investment in technological methods drop the small scale industries, while the growth of big corporates included with good relation and cultural modifications.
In recent times advanced technologies brought out tremendous alternations at which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
are being downward and rise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
corporates
. Despite their being certain disadvantages
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am convinced
that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attributes of renovated
Possible spelling mistake found.
corporates
are much more, and this essay will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "elaborate"
elaborates
the same.

It is irrefutable that there are a couple of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
associated with the drop of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
are
being enlarged
. Of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
the most noted one being is the decreased investments among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
scale sectors.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Infact
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernised' is British English.
modernised
technology developed much more in the 21st century including innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
,
newly
machines, methods, whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are involved
in minute firms shall raise a large portion of money to enlarge the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporate
. The clearest example that clarifies the viewpoint is,
Possible spelling mistake found.
rodrigon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thailand
which exports a vast amount of tools around the globe diminished the production
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of poor investment and improper development.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
this statement excludes the setbacks of phased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
sectors.

Nevertheless
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
there are certain disadvantages above mentioned,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am of the opinion that advantages that growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are plentiful. The two major factors are cultural alternations and relationship with other nations.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Inspite
, in the virtual world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the method of production according to the developments in society. The
next
account which states my view is creating new relationships with other nations.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Indeed
with the advent technology nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
sectors increase their productivity through new ways and equipments which the imports and exports occur with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with
Possible spelling mistake found.
othet
regions.
Therefore
, merits of this trend are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
compared to drawbacks.

By concluding this account it justifies that poor investment in technological methods drop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
, while the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
corporates
included with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relation and cultural modifications.
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IELTS essay Small enterprises are being phased out and replaced by big multinational corporations. Do the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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