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Small business should avoid recruiting young women who do not have their own family in order to avoid paying maternity leave later on. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Small business should avoid recruiting young women who do not have their own family in order to avoid paying maternity leave later on. GMN5B
Businesses is one of the part of the over economi, and Its also rise over economi day by day. but fewer business think does not allow to give jobs to younger women. because they have no own family, and they also want to avoid, to give leve during pragnency. I disagree with them. There are lots of reasons behind them firstly, in the modern era, women also get more education and they smartest than men. and we all lives because of women. So we need to give first priority to youngest women. and I have strongest reason, we all are come from the mother worm. So do not forget about that at all the time. For example during maternity its not need to give leave at that time because they also worke in business side but you need to give some break in between worke.
Businesses is one of the part of the over
Possible spelling mistake found.
economi
, and Its
also
rise over
Possible spelling mistake found.
economi
day by day.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
fewer business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
jobs to younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
they have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family, and they
also
want to avoid, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
Possible spelling mistake found.
leve
during
Possible spelling mistake found.
pragnency
. I disagree with them. There are lots of reasons behind them
firstly
, in the modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
education and
they
Use "smarter" to make a comparison with this adjective.
smartest
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
we all
The pronoun 'we' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "live"
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
first
priority to
A determiner is probably missing here: "the youngest".
youngest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
I have
A determiner is probably missing here: "the strongest".
strongest
reason, we all are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the mother worm.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
do not forget about that at all the time.
For example
during maternity its not need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
at that time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
worke
in business side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
break in between
Possible spelling mistake found.
worke
.

IELTS essay Small business should avoid recruiting young women who do not have their own family in order to avoid paying maternity leave later on.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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