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Small business should avoid recruiting young women who do not have their own family in order to avoid paying maternity leave later on. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Small business should avoid recruiting young women who do not have their own family in order to avoid paying maternity leave later on. GMN5B
Businesses is one of the part of the over economi, and Its also rise over economi day by day. but fewer business think does not allow to give jobs to younger women. because they have no own family, and they also want to avoid, to give leve during pragnency. I disagree with them. There are lots of reasons behind them firstly, in the modern era, women also get more education and they smartest than men. and we all lives because of women. So we need to give first priority to youngest women. and I have strongest reason, we all are come from the mother worm. So do not forget about that at all the time. For example during maternity its not need to give leave at that time because they also worke in business side but you need to give some break in between worke.
Businesses is one of the part of the over
economi
, and Its
also
rise over
economi
day by day.
but
fewer business
think
does not
allow
to
give
jobs to younger
women
.
because
they have no
own
family, and they
also
want to avoid, to
give
leve
during
pragnency
. I disagree with them. There are lots of reasons behind them
firstly
, in the modern era,
women
also
get
more
education and
they
smartest
than
men
.
and
we all
lives
because
of
women
.
So
we need to
give
first
priority to
youngest
women
.
and
I have
strongest
reason, we all are
come
from the mother worm.
So
do not forget about that at all the time.
For example
during maternity its not need to
give
leave
at that time
because
they
also
worke
in business side
but
you need to
give
some
break in between
worke
.
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IELTS essay Small business should avoid recruiting young women who do not have their own family in order to avoid paying maternity leave later on.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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