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Smacking children is the best form of discipline. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.12

Smacking children is the best form of discipline. v. 12
It’s commonly believed that physical torture is an effective way to keep children in the discipline. Some people think that correcting children’s inadequate behaviours require an aggressive approach. This essay will argue that why educating children through physical sanction is not the best way. When children are growing up, they always see adults as role models in their childhood, especially their parents. Generally, children are curious and observant, they learn things from interactions with adults. For example, if parents usually treat people politely and kind, their children are more likely to develop a similar pattern and hold well manner. Therefore, adults play an important role in the early stage of children’s character development. Despite smacking children might be a quick solution to prevent children from acting inappropriately, in my opinion, it can’t alter how children behave in the long run. Overall, children are lack of maturity to handle the emotion as well as make the right judgment, thus, they might take the retribution negatively, as a result, they develop hate, anger, and even humiliation. Moreover, some children might overreact to physical forfeiture and create social problems. In order to lead the children to the right track, I think proper coaching can contribute more positive influence than physical suffering given the long term. This essay argues that physical force can impose more principles on children. From my perspective, it creates more negative impacts as compared to the moderate coaching method. Since time has changed, the adult should incorporate a more civilized approach when they are intended to correct children's mistakes. In conclusion, I completely disagree on smacking is the best way to keep children in the discipline.
It’s
commonly
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
torture is an effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the discipline.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that correcting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
inadequate
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
require an aggressive approach. This essay will argue that why educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
sanction is not the best way.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are growing up, they always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
as role models in their childhood,
especially
their parents.
Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are curious and observant, they learn things from interactions with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
.
For example
, if parents
usually
treat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
politely
and kind, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more likely to develop a similar pattern and hold well manner.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the early stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
character development.

Despite smacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might be a quick solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from acting
inappropriately
, in my opinion, it can’t alter how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
behave in the long run.
Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are lack of maturity to handle the emotion
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the right judgment,
thus
, they might take the retribution
negatively
,
as a result
, they develop hate, anger, and even humiliation.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might overreact to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
forfeiture and create social problems. In order to lead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to the right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
proper coaching can contribute more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
suffering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the long term.

This essay argues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
force can impose more principles on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. From my perspective, it creates more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts as compared to the moderate coaching method. Since time has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, the adult should incorporate a more civilized approach when they
are intended
to correct children's mistakes.
In conclusion
, I completely disagree on smacking is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the discipline.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Smacking children is the best form of discipline. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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