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Skill of cookingis disappearing in some countries what is the situation in your country ? Should children be taught this kind of skill?

Skill of cookingis disappearing in some countries what is the situation in your country? Should children be taught this kind of skill? LbNjG
It is irrefutable that since the 21st century has embark, skill of cooking is diminishing in some nations by passing the time. However, concerning the issue of cooking, it had showed their effects in my own area as innumerable of individuals has gone far from thi skill. Similarly, offsprings should be taught by this kind of habits as it prove adventurous in their subsequent life. To commence with, abundance of the masses in India have become habitual to eat food from eatary outlets due to various teasons. This is in light to fact that inmost of the families, both men and women are working as they do part time jobs to survive better in the epoch of inflation. As a result, they donot have enough time to cook the food by themself. That is why they mostly prefer to eat packed food. Moreover, in this modern scenario, due to tremendious advancement in technology, uncountable food manufacturer companies and industries are available at every nook and corner which caters food at minimal rate coupled with their services are available at beck and call. This food is very superior in taste by which people are attracted towards this. To exemplify, a survey conducted by oxford univeesity revealed that 60 percent individuals of India eat the readymade food owing to work oriented life. Having said that this habit of cooking plays a paramount role in every person life as it should be taught to youngsters by the elders ones. It is owing to fact that numerous of today generation live of city or country for study and bussiness purposes. Therefore, they live alone there and no one is present for them to cook food. In addition to, if they eat maximum food from market one of them is junk food then they face the problem of deleterious diseases as it prepared in unhygienic condition. Hence, due to above various reasons cooking talent is crucial in children life. To conclude, in India, people have habitual to eat food from eatary outlets, this skill is must for future generation to learn due to abundance of benefits.
It is irrefutable that since the 21st century has
Use past participle here: "embarked".
embark
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of cooking is diminishing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations by passing the time.
However
, concerning the issue of cooking, it had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
their effects in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
area as innumerable of individuals has gone far from thi
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
Similarly
,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
should
be taught
by this kind of habits as it prove adventurous in their subsequent life.

To commence with, abundance of the masses in India have become habitual to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
eatary
outlets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to various
Possible spelling mistake found.
teasons
. This is in light to fact that inmost of the families, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women are working as they do
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
jobs to survive better in the epoch of inflation.
As a result
, they
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to cook the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
.
That is
why they
mostly
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
packed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Moreover
, in this modern scenario,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
tremendious
advancement in technology, uncountable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
manufacturer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and industries are available at every nook and corner which caters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at minimal rate coupled with their services are available at beck and call. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
superior in taste by which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are attracted
towards this. To exemplify, a survey conducted by oxford
Possible spelling mistake found.
univeesity
revealed that 60 percent individuals of India
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
readymade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
owing to work oriented life.

Having said that this habit of cooking plays a paramount role in every person life as it should
be taught
to youngsters by the elders ones. It is owing to fact that numerous of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
of city or country for study and
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussiness
purposes.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone there and no one is present for them to cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
In addition
to, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from market one of them is junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
then they face the problem of deleterious diseases as it prepared in unhygienic condition.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to above various reasons cooking talent is crucial in children life.

To conclude
, in India,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have habitual to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
eatary
outlets, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for future generation to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to abundance of benefits.
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IELTS essay Skill of cookingis disappearing in some countries what is the situation in your country? Should children be taught this kind of skill?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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