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GENDER PROBLEMS IN DEVELOPED AND DEVELOPING NATIONS

GENDER PROBLEMS IN DEVELOPED AND DEVELOPING NATIONS alxOd
GENDER DISCRIMINATIONS IN DEVELOPED AND DEVELOPING NATIONS In this essay, I am going to discuss the SDG 10, get away the unfair among people or countries. I suggest two solutions to tackle the gender problems. The governments should try to give every child to education in developed countries. Moreover, companies must try to lower the rate of women's quitting their jobs in developed countries. First of all, in developing countries, women can not get proper status as men due to the lack of education. According to Mr. Hisano (2021), "Although girls do farm-works they have no rights and guarantees because most of them do not have liteacy. " Education is the solution that will change such a situation. However, it has some problems. If girls go to school, the number of people who do the family-works will decrease. In addition, it costs money to take classes at the school. They have no afford to do that, therefor, they give up studying. At the end, they think that they do not have to let their children go to schools because they can live without literacy. It repeats over generations. In developed countries, especially in Asia such as Japan or Korea, the number of women who work as semi-regular employees or part-timer are more than that of men. Ms. Kuroda (2020) said, "In the middle of 30s women tend to quit their occupations when they raise their babies. " After their children grow up enough, they restart another jobs, but it is really difficult to get businesses if they do not have special qualifications. As a result, they decide to work as parts, not regular employees. In my view, not only women but also men must take children leave and help their wives so that women need not to lose their occupations. However, unfortunately, it is hard for men to take leaves as women on firms because of the pressure from their bosses (Mr. Mizoue, 2019). For this reason, women need to care their children for themselves. In conclusion, you should tackle the gender discrimination issues. However, giving opotunities to study at schools to girls and having men taking children-birth leaves are difficult in some aspects. Reference List Sachiko Kuroda, "The reason why salary gap between men and women exist, " President Women, 21 Nov 2021. Shinichi Hisano, "Empowerment for girls, " JICA, 21 Nov 2021. Norifumi Mizoue, "Giveup promotion, difficult to take child-birth leave for men, " 21 Nov 2021.
GENDER DISCRIMINATIONS IN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
DEVELOPED
AND DEVELOPING NATIONS

In this essay, I am going to discuss the SDG 10,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away the unfair among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I suggest two solutions to tackle the gender problems. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should try to give every child to education in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
try to lower the rate of women's quitting their jobs in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
countries.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper status as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
due to the lack of education. According to Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hisano
(2021),
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
do farm-works they have no rights and guarantees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of them do not have
Possible spelling mistake found.
liteacy
.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Education is the solution that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
such a situation.
However
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do the family-works will decrease.
In addition
, it costs money to take classes at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. They have no afford to do that, therefor, they give up studying. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without literacy. It repeats over generations.

In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
especially
in Asia such as Japan or Korea, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who work as semi-regular employees or part-timer are more than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. Ms.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kuroda
(2020) said,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
In the middle of 30s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
tend to quit their occupations when they raise their babies.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
After their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, they restart another jobs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
really
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
businesses if they do not have special qualifications.
As a result
, they decide to work as parts, not regular employees. In my view, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their wives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
need not
Did you mean "lose"?
to lose
their occupations.
However
, unfortunately, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
on firms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the pressure from their bosses (Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mizoue
, 2019).
For this reason
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
need to care their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for themselves.

In conclusion
, you should tackle the gender discrimination issues.
However
, giving
Possible spelling mistake found.
opotunities
to study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
taking children-birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaves
are difficult in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects.

Reference List

Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachiko
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kuroda
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The reason why salary gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
exist,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
President
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
, 21 Nov 2021.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Shinichi
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hisano
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Empowerment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
JICA
, 21 Nov 2021.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Norifumi
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mizoue
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Giveup
promotion, difficult to take child-birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
21 Nov 2021.
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IELTS essay GENDER PROBLEMS IN DEVELOPED AND DEVELOPING NATIONS

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
409 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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