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Since most information about history and culture is found on the internet, museums are not needed anymore. Do you agree or disagree?

Since most information about history and culture is found on the internet, museums are not needed anymore. b9JX
In addition, museums buttress economical development in the city. To explain it in detail, the fees collected from visitors of museums would increase the revenue of the government. It is not only a source of income for the government, but also provides entertainment to some people. Historical museum buildings attract a plethora of visitors. For instance, science and industry museum in Chicago attracted 1 million visitors last year. This increased the popularity of Chicago around the world. From what have been discussed above, I strongly disagree with the idea that museums are not required. In my opinion, the internet will never be able to physically show things. Museums provide true representation of history, culture and religion which would not be possible with internet.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
buttress
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
development in the city. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it in detail, the fees collected from visitors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
would increase the revenue of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a source of income for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provides entertainment to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
buildings attract a plethora of visitors.
For instance
, science and industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
in Chicago attracted 1 million visitors last year. This increased the popularity of Chicago around the world.

From what have
been discussed
above, I
strongly
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are not required. In my opinion, the internet will never be able to
physically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
things.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
provide true representation of history, culture and religion which would not be possible with internet.
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IELTS essay Since most information about history and culture is found on the internet, museums are not needed anymore.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
123 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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