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The rise of convenience foods has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern lifestyle. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The rise of convenience foods has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern lifestyle. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? lw9K
Food is one necessity of human body because it works as fuel for man. It is observed that to match pace of today's living pattern, people has started to depend on fast foods. If questioned, there are several benefits of this development; however I firmly believe that demerits can surpass the merits of this situation. My inclination is justified in the ensuing write-ups. There is a common reason why ready-made food is helped in recent time is that it saves time of people. In other words, the most of people have hectic schedule because of their jobs. Due to having busy daily routine, they can not cook for themselves; therefore, humans are forcefully depended on junk food in present time. For example, there is a survey which was conducted by Cambridge University in 2016; it states that 65% of total population of United Kingdom was depending on convenience food because of having full-day work. On the contrary, ready-made food has also numerous disadvantages. The first and foremost one is that street foods have harmful impacts on human health. To illustrate, junk food contains large proportion of bad nutritional values such as fat and acidic particles; which affect human bodies in bad manner. If consumption of fast food does not reduce, future generation will suffer from number of rare diseases. Furthermore, another demerit is regarding unhygienic food stalls. To simplify, many food restaurants as well as stores are ignoring cleanliness at their cooking places which cause some diseases such as typhoid and cholera. For instance, in 2017, number of cases of typhoid are registered in east Mumbai because of use of undrinkable water in many local food shops. In conclusion, it is seen that changes in diet push people to more productive in daily life. Although fast food saves time of people which is used in cooking, I personally believe that it has vast impact on health index of the world. I think that this food should consume in limited amount.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
is one necessity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it works as fuel for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. It
is observed
that to match pace of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's living pattern,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to depend on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. If questioned, there are several benefits of this development;
however
I
firmly
believe that demerits can surpass the merits of this situation. My inclination
is justified
in the ensuing write-ups.

There is a common reason why ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is that it saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In other words
, the most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have hectic schedule
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their jobs. Due to having busy daily routine, they can not cook for themselves;
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are
forcefully
depended on junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For example
, there is a survey which
was conducted
by Cambridge University in 2016; it states that 65% of total population
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the United Kingdom".
of United Kingdom
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
was depending
on convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of having full-day work.

On the contrary
, ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has
also
numerous disadvantages. The
first
and foremost one is that street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have harmful impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
health. To illustrate, junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contains large proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
nutritional values such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and acidic particles; which affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
bodies in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
manner. If consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
, future generation will suffer from number of rare diseases.

Furthermore
, another demerit is regarding unhygienic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
stalls. To simplify,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurants
as well
as stores are ignoring cleanliness at their cooking places which cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases such as typhoid and cholera.
For instance
, in 2017, number of cases of typhoid
are registered
in east Mumbai
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of undrinkable water in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
shops.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in diet push
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to more productive in daily life. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in cooking, I
personally
believe that it has vast impact on health index of the world. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should consume in limited amount.

IELTS essay The rise of convenience foods has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern lifestyle. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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