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Sicentific research should be carried out and controlled by the government rather than private companies. Do you agree or dissagree? v.2

Sicentific research should be carried out and controlled by the government rather than private companies. Do you agree or dissagree? v. 2
Whether the government should take the sole responsibility for scientific research or not has arose a strong controversy among concerning people. While I accept that the state has their own advantages to do research, I disagree that this work should be carried out and controlled only by them. On the one hand, there are some reasons why the government should do and controll sicientific research. Firstly, this guarantees that the research subjects follow the suitable orientation. Indeed, if the thesis was conduct under controlled of authorities, it is likely in line with government purpose. Nontheless, many companies put the priority on finding out the methodologies or liences to increase their productivities instead of protecting the environment, regardless the government’s policies is to strengthen fresh air or water condition. Secondly, giving the chances to profit-organization to do research may put the quality of work in jeopardy. Facts have shown that, it is the pressure of making higher income that drives reserchers to publich their report without careful checks. For example, Trapha – a reputational pharmaceutical corporation, lauched their vacines without sufficient trial tests, resulting in the dead of more than 100 people. On the other hand, I believe that allowing companies to carry out siencetific research is beneficial in some ways. Innitially, the government could save a great deal of budget. By sharing this duty to companies, it creates the state easier accesses to allocate budget to other significant sectors such as Economy or Education. Further and even more significantly, private companies could contribute a huge resources of human and technologies to siencetific research. Undeniably, these days, large corporations with numerous of high-skilled and experienced labours as well as advanced machines, are able to give birth of countless inventions. Let’s take Vingroup – a multiple company - as a telling instance, had it not been for their contribution to the peak of spending a considerable part of their earning on siencetific research, the green in-house cultivating vegatable would have never applied in Vietnam. By the way of conclusion, although the state has their bases to conduct sientific research, it is my perspective that this work should also be shared to private companies
Whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take the sole responsibility for scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
or not has
Use past participle here: "arisen".
arose
a strong controversy among concerning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. While I accept that the state has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, I disagree that this work should
be carried
out and controlled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by them.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should do and
Possible spelling mistake found.
controll
Possible spelling mistake found.
sicientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
Firstly
, this guarantees that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
subjects follow the suitable orientation.
Indeed
, if the thesis was conduct under controlled of authorities, it is likely in line with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
purpose.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nontheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
put the priority on finding out the methodologies or
Possible spelling mistake found.
liences
to increase their
Possible spelling mistake found.
productivities
instead
of protecting the environment, regardless the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
policies is to strengthen fresh air or water condition.
Secondly
, giving the chances to profit-organization to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
may put the quality of work in jeopardy. Facts have shown that, it is the pressure of making higher income that drives
Possible spelling mistake found.
reserchers
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
publich
their report without careful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Trapha
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
a reputational pharmaceutical corporation,
Possible spelling mistake found.
lauched
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
vacines
without sufficient trial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
, resulting in the dead of more than 100
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, I believe that allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to carry out
Possible spelling mistake found.
siencetific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Innitially
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could save a great deal of budget. By sharing this duty to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, it creates the state easier accesses to allocate budget to other significant sectors such as Economy or Education.
Further
and even more
significantly
, private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
could contribute a huge
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "resource"?
resources
of human and technologies to
Possible spelling mistake found.
siencetific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
Undeniably
, these days, large corporations with numerous of high-skilled and experienced
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
as well
as advanced machines, are able to give birth of countless inventions.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s take
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vingroup
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
a multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
as a telling instance, had it not been for their contribution to the peak of spending a considerable part of their earning on
Possible spelling mistake found.
siencetific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, the green in-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
cultivating
Possible spelling mistake found.
vegatable
would have never applied in Vietnam.

By the way of conclusion, although the state has their bases to conduct
Possible spelling mistake found.
sientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, it is my perspective that this work should
also
be shared
to private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Sicentific research should be carried out and controlled by the government rather than private companies. Do you agree or dissagree? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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