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Nowadays many medical research projects are funded by private companies In your opinion do you think that research should be carried out by private companies individuals or government v.1

Nowadays many medical research projects are funded by private companies In your opinion do you think that research should be carried out by private companies individuals or government v. 1
It is an undeniable fact that, in all over the world, there are various types of professions. However, some people think that successful sports professionals earn abundant money in their whole lives. Whereas, another group of people trusts that works are necessary. Some people believe that this is fully justified while another person that it is unfair. In this essay, I intend to delve into the benefits of both approaches. To begin, there are many advantages of sport professions. One of them is a healthy lifestyle, when people in any kind of sport, they do exercise during play that habit has a crucial part of fitness level. The second is the identifying name in the world, sports men become a favourite personality for adults. Nevertheless, teenagers follow pastime celebrity lifestyle and their work. Lastly, the fun professionals say money for the future because of their younger age, they gain lots of finance from work. For example, according to the survey of game department more than half world teenagers want to become athletics man. On the other hand, there are many positive points of other jobs. Firstly, people can adapt doctor field for human help, when the community has interest in other works. However, people can earn money from good way, they also gain respect from society. Secondly, successful future plan, they can fulfil their needs and accomplished their ambition. In addition, if someone joins teaching for his career, he can teach uneducated children in society. Moreover, other jobs are crucial for human development without these societies has not completed. For instance, according to the survey of worldwide human right result, 80% people adapt new professions for their career. To put in a nutshell, I pen down, saying that people should adapt job which is important for the community.
It is an undeniable fact that, in all over the world, there are various types of professions.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
professionals earn abundant money in their whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, another group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
trusts that works are necessary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this is
fully
justified while another person that it is unfair. In this essay, I intend to delve into the benefits of both approaches.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
professions. One of them is a healthy lifestyle, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, they do exercise during play that habit has a crucial part of fitness level. The second is the identifying name in the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
become a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
personality for adults.
Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
follow pastime celebrity lifestyle and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Lastly
, the fun professionals say money for the future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their younger age, they gain lots of finance from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For example
, according to the survey of game department more than half world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
want to become athletics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
jobs.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can adapt doctor field for human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, when the community has interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
works.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can earn money from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way, they
also
gain respect from society.
Secondly
, successful future plan, they can fulfil their needs and accomplished their ambition.
In addition
, if someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joins
teaching for his career, he can teach uneducated children in society.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
jobs are crucial for human development without these societies has not completed.
For instance
, according to the survey of worldwide human right result, 80%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
adapt new professions for their career.

To put in a nutshell, I pen down, saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should adapt job which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the community.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Nowadays many medical research projects are funded by private companies In your opinion do you think that research should be carried out by private companies individuals or government v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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