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SHOWS A GGOD METHOD OF FINDING TALENT PEOPLE OR ARE THEY JUST ENTERTAINMENT

SHOWS A GGOD METHOD OF FINDING TALENT PEOPLE OR ARE THEY JUST ENTERTAINMENT M3e16
People have talent inside them; some people realize they have it, but others don’t realize it. Now we can see many broadcast about talent contest on television, in my view today, the contest not only showing their talent but their entertaining too. We know the talent shows are the biggest event when people show their talent like singing, dancing, cooking, and other from the usual to the extreme talent they can do it. If we watch the old talent shows, we can see the difference from then and now. For example, master chef season old and now their skill to cook is not a problem, but I think now their make it little more drama in there for entertain. In the other hand, talent contest is not only for shows people talent but they also entertain and make audience or viewers happy with their performance. When someone win the contest, the winner can get money in a huge amount. Singing is a one of talent people show and easy way can make people become fast to be famous. However, many singer or artist can famous without follow the talent contest. They pure famous with their potential like songs they created or they can attract attention from anybody. In conclusion, talent shows one of the methods to make someone confident with their talent and capable to perform, and then they can entertain the audience too. Overall people can choose what they want to be; they want to be famous with talent shows or their talent just want to entertainment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
inside them;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
realize they have it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others don’t realize it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Now
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Possible agreement error. The noun broadcast seems to be countable; consider using: "many broadcasts".
many broadcast
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contest
on television, in my view
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contest
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
showing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their entertaining too.

We know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are the biggest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
like singing, dancing, cooking, and other from the usual to the extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
they can do it. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the difference from then and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
.
For example
, master chef season
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to cook is not a problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more drama in there for entertain.

In the other hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contest
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
entertain and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
audience or viewers happy with their performance. When someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wins", "won".
win
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contest
, the winner can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
money in a huge amount. Singing is a one of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
and easy way can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
.
However
,
Possible agreement error. The noun singer seems to be countable; consider using: "many singers".
many singer
or artist can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
without follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contest
. They pure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
with their potential like songs they
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
created or
they can attract attention from anybody.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
one of the methods to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
someone confident with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
and capable to perform, and then they can entertain the audience too.
Overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can choose what they want to be; they want to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
or their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to entertainment.
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IELTS essay SHOWS A GGOD METHOD OF FINDING TALENT PEOPLE OR ARE THEY JUST ENTERTAINMENT

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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